Home Court Advantage

Home Court Advantage By Wayne and Tamara My husband and I were married this weekend in Las Vegas. At the wedding dinner my mother-in-law leaned across the table and started cutting my husband’s steak! I was mortified. The next day we met my parents and his parents in the lobby bar for a soda before we headed for the airport. My mother-in-law pulled out a velvet bag and tossed it to my husband. It was a bracelet for him. I should mention I bought him a nice watch for a wedding gift, and he showed it off the previous day, our wedding day. When we returned home, my sister and I had a brief argument the way sisters do. But when I turned around my mother-in-law was making fun of me to my sister. I stormed out, calmed down a bit, and then told my sister how much she had hurt me. She told me my mother-in-law said she should give me the “Boy Scout salute” and held up her middle finger. I let my mother-in-law know unequivocally I knew what she said and so did her son. She gave us the cold shoulder and this continues 48 hours later. My husband keeps saying “she’ll come around,” “just wait and see,” and “that’s just the way my mom is.” I would never let my mom treat my husband like that. I’d call her out on it and tell her it was unacceptable. Rachel Rachel, you could try to put your personality on a back shelf and accommodate your mother-in-law, or you could have a knock-down, drag-out fight with her for possession of her little boy. The first course is not likely to work because when real change comes, it comes from within not from without. The second course may work, but it poses an opportunity and a danger. Your mother-in-law has known your husband longer than you have, and she is part of the development of his psyche. On the other hand, since it appears he married a woman like his mother, he might yield to the stronger woman. The danger is that you will start resenting him for not being a real man in your life. Sons who want to be treated like men don’t let their mother treat them like a 2-year-old, while sons who like being treated like boys do. It will be no fun playing strict parent to your husband and being the third wheel in your own marriage will exhaust you. The final possibility, of course, is your husband is so laid-back he doesn’t care what his mother does. What is missing here is the pre-story. How much did you know before the wedding? If you didn’t realize until the wedding dinner what you tied yourself to, a divorce attorney can ensure that what happened in Vegas will stay in Vegas. Wayne & Tamara Between Friends I just found out my girlfriend is pregnant from a text message while watching a movie with my wife. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Please help me do the right thing. And yes, the girlfriend knows about my wife. They are friends. Gus Gus, what is the right thing? Your girlfriend gets to take her friend’s husband by using a baby? Two women should fight over a man neither one can trust? Your wife should remain with a man who cheats on her? Once the time for doing the right thing passed, it became a matter of trying to patch up the wrongs. Two wrongs will never make a right, and it’s too late for you to be a stand-up guy. These two women have shared more than any two friends should ever share. Arrange a calm sit-down with all parties, and let each person decide what is right for them. Get this done now because each day you sit on the problem is another deception.