Less Than

By Wayne and Tamara I am a 24-year-old girl that has been dating a guy, 28, for over a year. When we are together things are so great; we never argue and we like doing the same things. Then out of the blue he will tell me he needs space. So I give it to him. I don’t call him, write him, nothing. Then he calls again and we get back together. He makes statements like "let’s have a baby" or "help me find a place to buy near where you live.” But nothing comes from it. It’s a continuous cycle, and I have absolutely no idea if I am someone he really wants or loves. Lately he says he wants us to work on being "best friends," but we still act like a couple. I love him with all my heart. He is always there for me when I need him emotionally and physically. But does he want me? Seriously, this boy is giving me whiplash. Kelsey Kelsey, in the law, a lesser included offense is one which shares some, but not all, of the elements of a greater offense. For example, manslaughter is a lesser included offense in murder, and trespassing is a lesser included offense in burglary. In the same way, while sex is included in romantic love, it is not love. Prostitution shows this, and so does the term “friends with benefits.” Genuine love cannot be proven from the existence of a lesser included element. You cannot sift through what someone tells you solely for what you want to hear. That’s like keeping the spam and throwing away the email. Don’t expect to have a future with a man who wants a baby with you one day, and wants you out of his life the next. Don’t expect to be treated well by a man you allow to treat you badly. Wayne & Tamara She Works Hard... I was recently called into my department head's office and given a formal reprimand because I have been experiencing problems with tardiness (arriving to work five, 10, or 15 minutes late) and making personal calls at work. The room in which I work has three cubicles, which include myself, a coworker, and my supervisor. We'll call her Lisa. Lisa also acts as supervisor for my coworker, whom we'll call Eddie. His actual direct boss works remotely and is only available thru phone and email. Since receiving this reprimand, which was mortifying, I have made a huge effort to arrive at work on time. However, I’ve found myself in an increasing state of resentment as I continue to observe Eddie strolling into work 10, 15, or 20 minutes late almost every day. On one occasion he only worked five and a half hours and took a long lunch. I also hear Lisa's personal calls throughout the day. I feel like I had the right attitude in responding to this reprimand, and I wanted to step up and prove myself, but it's becoming harder to maintain this feeling of positivity when I observe my coworker and boss doing the exact same things I was reprimanded for. Maggie Maggie, sometimes success in the workplace has little to do with merit. Instead it’s like cliques in school. What matters is who is liked by whom and who plays the best social game. That’s a given. The second given is human beings detest unfairness. People do bad things like stealing simply as a protest against what others are getting away with. The third given is pointing a finger at others is never a winning defense against rule violations. So try this. Don’t look at your supervisor and coworker; look at who has provided your job and what they expect. Go back to your job interview and what you promised. Focus on that. Ultimately hard work and performance will set you apart.