A Sense of Sonder How Everyone is Connected Through Emotion and Human Experience

A Sense of Sonder How Everyone is Connected Through Emotion and Human Experience By Camryn Bland Youth Columnist As individuals, our daily lives are crowded with personal worries, from our finances to the future to what we’re eating for dinner. We are so fixated on ourselves, that we rarely slow down to look at the bigger picture; not just the bigger picture of our own lives, but of the lives of others. We are one of 8.2 billion people currently living on Earth, and yet we often act as if we are the only person who matters. Every person you see throughout your day is experiencing their own complex life, filled with worries both similar and unique to yours. Lives in which you are a background character, just as they are to you. If we take a moment to analyze the human experience, we would be filled with countless emotions, meanings, and adventures. However, I think most of humanity can be described by one word: sonder. The term was coined by John Koenig in 2012, when he published the book The dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. According to dictionary.com, sonder means, “the realization that every other individual you see has a life as full and real as your own, in which they are the central character and others, including yourself, have secondary or insignificant roles.” When first considered, this may seem obvious; of course others are experiencing their own lives. However, there is something special when you really analyze the realization. The human experience is something to be shared, and there are billions of people to share it with. While I am writing this column at my desk, there are mothers giving birth, teens interviewing for their first job, and couples getting married. At the same time, young hearts are being broken, families are losing their loved ones, and countless individuals are getting rejected from their dream lives. Regardless of what we are going through, we are just one person in a community of billions, connected by both the love and loss which makes life worth living. To some, the sense of sonder can cause loneliness and desperation, a feeling that nothing you do has any importance. Why would my life matter, when I am just one of the 117 billion people which have lived on Earth? However, the reality isn’t that our stories aren’t important, it’s just that our stories are among many others of equal value. Our lives can still be reached for and learned from, and they are still worth experiencing. When we consider the lives of others, we realize we are never alone. It is a comfort that my stress isn’t a prominent issue in the grand scheme of things. I may have failed a test, or lost a competition, but those experiences are not new ones. Millions of other individuals have undergone the exact same things as I have, and they have overcome them, just as I will. We may be the centers of our own lives, but none that of others. We need to remember this and act upon it everyday in order to find peace and sincerity. Maybe someone cut you off in traffic, but that’s because they’re trying to make it to the hospital before their wife gives birth. Perhaps your coworker got the promotion you wanted, but the new role means they are able to pay the bills they’ve been struggling to cover. You could get upset at the inconveniences, blame others for your misfortune, but that would just be a waste of time. Instead, you could try to open your eyes to the lives of others, as that is where you will find comfort. Through the sense of sonder, I know I am just one person in a community of billions. No matter what, I will always be a secondary character in the lives of others. So, my goal is to become a secondary character which brings inspiration, happiness and peace. When it comes to the countless people I meet, I hope to bring a smile to their story, as others do to mine.