THE MAYOR’S TALE - A CHRISTMAS STORY IN RHYME

THE MAYOR’S TALE - A CHRISTMAS STORY IN RHYME So now it begins as I sit down to write The tale of council, on Christmas Eve night. I decided to type in the Chaucer style, In rhyming couplets that will for a while Amuse one and all who take time to read That which may grow from a writer’s seed. To plant a young tale, and have it mature Is its own just reward as you may be sure. Wish me well and Godspeed my friends, For I hope to reach a successful end. It is better this way, and I will go so fast To create a memory that is sure to last. My mind is keen and my heart is fit, So stay tuned for the rest of it! ***** THE MAYOR’S TALE ***** ‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND ALL OF COUNCIL WAS THERE…… A short story written by Dean Hickey One night in December, as the snow did fall I found myself with councillors, one and all. We sat round the chamber on Christmas Eve To discuss a matter you must surely believe Was important enough that we had no choice But to do as a council, what no-one enjoys; To remain together long into the night To consider that which to me seemed right! What follows is as much as I can recall Of the contributions made by us all As we argued, debated and got worked up Like actors on the stage of a drama club. But in the end as you will soon see Council would in fact agree with me. So without further ado, I will recount Those obstacles we came to surmount. MAYOR DAN CARTER Please find your seats, my councillor friends For there’s miles to go before this night ends. I trust you’re all well, and I have to say The fact most are here has made my day! I see Councillor Neal has again stayed home To join in our quest, on his telephone, But that is his loss, for he is not near To enjoy the punch I have brought to cheer Those who have acted on a different scale, By venturing to where friendship prevails. And now that you’ve each taken your seat I’ll move a motion that’s an absolute treat. It’s a sort of pledge on the part of us all, To take stock of ourselves, and to stand tall As we show the world who we really are By casting away old habits to places afar, And in taking on a fresh state of mind The likes of which is often hard to find. Therefore with the power I now possess, I as Mayor do here and now profess To offer up a motion by myself alone Without a seconder, as may be shown By the Strong Mayors legislation I do willingly use without hesitation. COUNCILLOR NICHOLSON Mr. Mayor, I do object to what you say, For I have been here many a day And never have I seen a Mayor so keen To ride all over that which even he Must surely admit is our democracy. I rise on a point of order to firmly object To the methods being used to project Whatever has brought us all down here, On this most precious night of the year. I have served for forty years now, And never have I seen just how This type of unilateral action That seems to now be in fashion, Could possibly help us in our quest To make decisions that are the best. MAYOR DAN CARTER Councillor Nicholson I beg you consider All that has in the past served to hinder The progress we need to move beyond The stalemates and debates so very long! I ask you to open your mind and to see That this is the way my motion should be. We need to move on and you look tired, Too much discussion will see us mired In ways too numerous even to count, As a pedestal we will all try to mount. But wait… I hear a voice call out to me, So just one moment as I look to see Who it is that wants to interject As we try to act with complete respect. COUNCILLOR JOHN NEAL Yeah, Mr. Mayor it’s Councillor Neal. I know I’m not there, but I really do feel That Brian has a point beyond dispute As he is a man who is quite astute. From him I have learned so very much, Though some may see me as out of touch Cause I like doing this stuff by remote Although it won’t cost me a single vote. For I have built a reputation And Ward One is now Neal Nation! So what I wanted to say may be harsh But a motion by you is a farce. And although we are still in the dark Whatever it is you want here to mark The very first time you have acted as such, I have to say it really is far too much! COUNCILLOR ROSEMARY MCCONKEY Mr. Mayor I support John from Ward One And I request a recorded vote be done, And at the right time I have an amendment To present to council as I intend it. DEPUTY MAYOR BOB CHAPMAN Mr. Mayor I rise on a point of order As any amendment now would border On fantasy, as there has been no motion, And this debate is causing commotion. I have tried to educate everyone here On matters of process, year after year, And yet to some it remains a mere game. To go outside the rules is a total shame. I therefore request councillor McConkey Do the right thing - that in all honesty She should have done, and that is to wait. Council would see such behaviour as great. COUNCILLOR JOHN GRAY Mr. Mayor I rise on personal privilege As I have always tried to encourage Co-operation and some mutual respect Which as Mayor I came to reflect As I rebuilt this city from the ground up, Without the help from laws that usurp The rights of every councillor here From due process year after year. Did I miss the memo Mr. Mayor? The rules are now totally in your favour? COUNCILLOR BRADLEY MARKS Mr. Speaker I rise in this House as one Who knows how legal issues are done. As I listen to my learned friends And their confusion that knows no ends. I am reminded of the fact things change. The Mayor’s request is not at all strange Given the fact that the Province has done What they see as good for everyone. So with those exhaustive remarks, I remain yours in service, Bradley Marks. COUNCILLOR TITO-DANTE MARIMPIETRI Mr. Mayor I see our friend from Ward 3 Thinks he is well above you and me, As he seems to think he’s in Parliament With all the status it may represent. But I must remind him if I may That he’s still on Council as of today, And our city is worth fighting for! As a councillor, I seek nothing more. I find the debates we are now into Will only hinder all that we must do To keep our city ahead of the game! My best currency still is my name, And I wish the question could be called On the phantom motion that has stalled, As this seems to me a total waste of time And why am I still talking in rhyme? MAYOR DAN CARTER Members of council let’s move on, But wait, I believe we have a delegation; A certain Mr. Lee would like to speak to us. So before anyone else makes a fuss I invite Mr. Lee to come forward now. He has ten minutes to show us how What he wants to say will help us traverse The issue into which we are immersed. COUNCILLOR JIM LEE Mr. Mayor I am not a delegation as such, And I would thank you sir, very much To support me when I say it is true That I was in fact elected in Ward Two. I am the one who always takes action. I live in the big sprawling mansion That is among the noblest of homes Where the fashionable people still roam. Just because I sit so far away from you Doesn’t mean I don’t say what others do. So let me comment as you sit and ponder That I feel we need every first responder To be reflected in any motions you make, Because these guys really take the cake! COUNCILLOR RICK KERR Mr. Mayor, if I may be permitted to speak. I am here as one who always tries to seek A better way so that I can understand Just what makes us work hand-in-hand? And I sincerely hope you have not forgot I have been asked to play someone I’m not, As my role in The Trespassers is definite, And I hope everyone comes out to it. Mr. Mayor I see my ward-mate over there Has been sitting with both hands in the air, So I guess he has something to say And I wish you the very best of the day! COUNCILLOR DEREK GIBERSON Mr. Mayor I’ve thought of this intrinsically And I really believe this council to be Way off the mark on the environment, And I see only one way to deal with it. So I therefore ask your motion to go far To take a stand that we abolish every car! Other than that very important request I’ll vote as a socialist would think best. MAYOR DAN CARTER Members of council are you all done? Listening to each one of you has been fun But I have yet to present my motion. And regardless, if anyone has the notion To challenge me over this - somehow, I will override you, both here and now. So let’s not put the cart before the horse, But listen to my motion, which of course Will make you very much surprised And might even bring tears to your eyes. Whereas with Oshawa Council, it’s a fact Our deepest fear is for us not to act In meaningful ways beyond compare, As there’s so much good we can share. And, whereas this council must ask itself How can we place pride upon the shelf And accept that there is room to grow As only members of our council can know? And, whereas we need not wonder How divergent views can come together. For we each bear the glory of God within And with that in mind we’ll soon begin A brand new year - a new opportunity To be the best we were made to be. Therefore, be it resolved this Christmas Eve, Whether or not we truly believe, That Council seek guidance from one Who has the power to see good will done, As we strive to let our collective light glow Over a city that we’re all proud to know. MOTION CARRIED.