THE REALITY OF MY DREAM

THE REALITY OF MY DREAM By Joe Ingino A behind-the-scenes view of my dream in a nightmare world... People always ask, “Joe, how do you do it? What is your secret?”In reality, there is no secret. Just a long list of regrets, guilt, and sacrifices. We are approaching the celebration of Father’s Day, a rare time when fathers receive recognition for their role in the family. As a single-income family, the hardships throughout the years have been plentiful. As I look back, I regret many things. I regret not being able to spend more time with my family, watch them grow, and feel as though I could have been there more. I could have done more.I feel guilt because so much of my time was sacrificed to ensure that my family could sustain a comfortable lifestyle. I feel guilt for not being able to explore more opportunities. Then, as stated in my byline, “DECODE YOUR LIFE BY LIVING IT WITHOUT REGRET OR SORROW — ONE DAY AT A TIME.”In part, I guess that is the real secret. My love for my nation, my community, and my family has guided everything I have done.I look around and see that I am constantly contributing back to my community. I contribute by bringing an award-winning newspaper to the people of Durham Region and by making my country proud in an industry that knows no borders.I look at my family and see that none of them struggle with drug addiction, substance abuse of any kind, or serious mental health challenges. I sacrificed and guided them throughout their lives whenever needed. Today, they are all productive members of the community. I always gave them everything I could, while teaching them the value of a dollar. I respected their freedoms and choices because the light of my love and guidance has always led them toward opportunity.Father’s Day, to me, is not about me. It is about them. It is about knowing they are safe, self-dependent, and able to give back to their families, their communities, and their country.It would be selfish not to sacrifice in the name of duty to my family. It would be irresponsible not to provide guidance. Life has many lessons to teach. Some are less pleasant than others.We are fathers. We are leaders of our families and are responsible for providing guidance and creating opportunities when they are few and far between. I remember being asked by one of my children:“Why is life so hard all the time? ”I looked into their eyes and told them: “Life is not hard. Life is about opportunity. It is about perspective and the never-ending test of whether you are worthy of the rewards that follow. Failure is expected and welcomed as a lesson never to be repeated. Opportunity comes as a result of many failures. Success is merely the by-product of many favorable opportunities. ”I think the ultimate gift from your family is the assurance that, when they are faced with raising their own families, they are prepared to make similar sacrifices and live their lives “one day at a time.”We live a dream encapsulated by a nightmare that constantly challenges us. It takes us on emotional roller coasters, pushing our feelings to places we have never been and never wish to return. We are faced with darkness as we search for the future, only to keep seeing that distant light. A promised light that we truly reach only when we die. A light that promises eternal life. Living every day to its fullest is true success. Appreciating every second in our journey toward that perfect light at the end of destiny's tunnel. We need not spend our lives searching, but rather living responsibly and without regret, for our destiny has already been determined. In part I thank my father for his teachings of his dream in his own nightmare world.