Turn Off the Panic: Why Pre-Planning a Death Matters

Turn Off the Panic: Why Pre-Planning a Death Matters By Dale Jodoin Inspired by a father’s real experience When someone dies, there is sadness, confusion, and sometimes even panic. Most people don’t realize that when a loved one dies, the family has to make more than 80 decisions within just a few days. These decisions are hard, and they cost money. For low-income families, this can be too much to handle. The person writing this article saw their father go through it. When a close family member passed, their father had to make dozens of decisions while grieving. It was painful, stressful, and expensive. That’s why this article was written — to help other families get ready before it happens. There’s good news. You can plan ahead. It’s called pre-planning, and it can help your family save time, money, and pain when the time comes. This article explains what pre-planning is, why it matters, and how to do it — even if you don’t have a lot of money. What Is Pre-Planning? Pre-planning means making choices about what you want after you die — before it happens. This can include things like: Do you want to be buried or cremated? Do you want a big funeral or something small? Who do you want to handle your belongings? What music or prayers do you want at your service? It may feel strange to think about death. But planning ahead is one of the kindest things you can do for your family. Why Pre-Planning Is Important When someone dies, loved ones are often shocked and upset. At the same time, they have to make lots of quick decisions. These choices can be hard, especially when people don’t know what the person wants. Families may argue or feel guilt. Some people end up spending too much money, thinking it shows more love. Pre-planning helps in three ways: It takes pressure off your family. It helps avoid arguments and confusion. It saves money. When you make these decisions in advance, your family can just follow your wishes. That way, they can spend more time supporting each other instead of stressing out. What If I Don’t Have a Lot of Money? Many people think pre-planning is only for the rich. That’s not true. Even if you’re low-income, you can still plan. In fact, it’s even more important for families with tight budgets. Here are some money-saving tips for pre-planning: Cremation is often cheaper than burial. Simple caskets can still be respectful and beautiful. You don’t need a fancy hall — services can be held at home, in a church, or at a community center. You don’t need flowers or catering — a potluck or snack table is fine. The most important thing is to be clear about what you want. That saves your family from guessing and spending money they don’t have. The 87 Decisions Families Must Make You might be surprised, but when someone dies, the family must quickly make up to 87 decisions. Here are just a few examples: Who do we call first? Which funeral home do we use? What kind of service do we have? What clothes will they wear? What day will the funeral be? What music will be played? Who will speak at the funeral? What do we do with their bank accounts? How many death certificates do we need? These are hard questions to answer quickly. That’s why pre-planning helps so much. Create a Death Checklist Making a simple checklist helps keep things organized. Here’s an easy one you can copy and fill in: Your Simple Pre-Planning Checklist Who do I want to handle when I die? Name: ________________________________ Do I want a burial or cremation? [ ] Burial [ ] Cremation Where should I be buried or have my ashes placed? Do I want a funeral service? [ ] Yes [ ] No If yes, where: ________________________ What music or reading would I like? Do I have a will? [ ] Yes [ ] No If yes, where is it kept? _____________ Tip: Find a lawyer who can help for free — many legal clinics and community centers offer this service. Do I want people to donate money to a cause instead of sending flowers? Cause: _______________________________ What should happen to my pets? Who should be told about my death right away? Any special instructions or wishes? Keep this checklist somewhere safe, like in a file marked “In Case of Death,” and tell a trusted friend or family member where to find it. Talk About It Now — Not Later It’s okay to talk about death. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you care about the people you’ll leave behind. Sit down with your family and say, “I want to make things easier for you when the time comes.” Some people also choose to talk to a local funeral home, church, or community group. Many offer free help with planning. Don’t Forget About Help In Canada, some provinces and cities offer death benefit programs for people with low income. These can help pay for a basic cremation or burial. You can also ask your local social services office or Indigenous support groups if you qualify for help. Some charities and churches also help families with final costs. It’s always okay to ask. Final Thoughts: Love Never Forgets Planning for death doesn’t take away from life. In fact, it protects the people you love. By making these decisions now, you give your family a gift: peace of mind. You don’t need a lot of money to plan. You just need a little time, a pen, and love in your heart. Remember — love never forgets. And that’s what pre-planning is all about.