The other night my husband said another woman’s name in his sleep. He said either “roll over here Michelle” or “come over here, Michelle” and gestured toward me. This has me very upset.
I can pretty much account for all his time away from home with his work and everything. He is never late coming home. If he missed work to spend time with another woman, I would know because I am the one who handles the paychecks and bills.
My biggest fear is he is contemplating having an affair. We have a good relationship. We get along well most of the time, and I do feel loved and cherished by him. This is the first thing that has made me feel like my relationship is in question. I don’t know what to do or think.
Cecily
Cecily, are you thinking of the old Romantic’s song? “I hear the secrets that you keep, when you are talking in your sleep.” Or is it like this? Hamlet steps on stage and bares his soul to the audience. “To be or not to be, that is the question.”
But sleep talking isn’t a soliloquy, it’s a somniloquy. It’s inadmissible in court, found mostly in males, and generally indicates nothing more than sleep deprivation or stress.
If your husband was having an affair, you would find out through a stand-alone event, like lipstick on his collar, or through the accumulation of little things until it finally dawned on you. He’s paying more attention to his grooming, adds an extra dash of cologne in the morning, and my best friend asked, “Who was that woman he was talking to after church?”
You have your husband on a tight leash. You control his money and his time. Do you want to control his dreams as well? Maybe the problem is your insecurities. That’s a better explanation than the babblings in his sleep.
Wayne & Tamara
Cafeteria Food
Last year I started dating Ty. We dated 10 months until I broke up with him and broke his heart. He hounded me constantly to get back together. Five months later I agreed to go out with him and we started dating again six weeks ago.
After we broke up he dated another girl. She’s a flight attendant, gone five days then back for two or three. He has not told her about us. Every time she calls he either tells her he is busy or doesn’t return her call.
You’d think she’d get the hint. I told him, from a woman’s point of view, she would rather be told he is not interested, followed by a goodbye. But he says he doesn’t want to hurt her. He wants her to break up with him. I think he just wants to keep his foot in the door. Or maybe it’s laziness. He has lazy tendencies.
I’m losing trust in him because I see the way he lies to her. He tells me he loves me and we are like peas and carrots, but sometimes I feel like a fool.
Joslyn
Joslyn, you are like peas and carrots. Peas are green. Carrots are orange. Peas are spheres. Carrots are cylinders. Peas roll. Carrots can’t. It’s a combination most people aren’t crazy about, and you shouldn’t be either.
The man of my dreams…I’ve waited all my life to meet a guy like this…lazy and I can’t trust him. C’mon, girl, give him the boot. Don’t worry about him, this time he has someone waiting in the wings.
Wayne & Tamara
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