Age Old Question

I am newly blind and very depressed over the guy situation. Since I've lost my sight, it's almost like males have disappeared too. I've always attracted men and enjoyed dating. I still laugh and flirt, and I'm very open to questions. I want people to be comfortable. I just turned 36 and feel old and ugly, like I'm no longer a person worthy of a relationship. I am careful not to let the outside world see this side of me. I know there is nothing more of a turnoff than a whiner. So, what do I do? Where do I meet men who aren't afraid of a woman who isn't "normal?" Darla Darla, there is no timetable or technique which guarantees you will find a man. Sighted or not, the wisest advice remains the same. Be fully engaged in life, follow what most deeply interests you, and fill your own well. Filling your own well is never a waste. At worst you will become a happier, more complete, more fulfilled person. Often when we stop chasing, things come because it is then time. There are people offering gimmicks to get someone. What they won't tell you is that it may get you someone, but not your someone. For a relationship to last, it must be your someone, not just anyone. The divorce rate confirms this. Live your life with gusto! If you allow yourself to be moved by what stirs you, a larger plan will unfold. It will seem right, even though it may be something you never imagined. Just because you are 36 and want a man, it doesn't mean today he will arrive. Men are not like Chinese takeout. Tamara The Same Boat Please excuse the untidiness of this letter. It is the first time I have put my life in writing. I read with great interest the story of the young couple that were virgins before marriage, and a year later, still are. Their story is my own. I speak from 45 years of lost love, sex, and caring. I remained a virgin two years after marriage. I had such migraine headaches from the stress my boss would not allow me back to work without a doctor's note. How could I go back to the doctor I knew since childhood, a virgin two years after he attended my wedding? So I saw another doctor. I cried myself to sleep many nights. I needed someone to hold and love me. Eventually, we did indulge, and I got pregnant immediately. I had a child all my own to love. Three years later we got together, and again I was pregnant. Four years more passed, and I was given the gift of pregnancy for my anniversary. Now, with three children, life did not improve. My husband worked in law enforcement, so he worked around the clock. Obviously, he kept himself happy while I craved love so desperately. I don't think it is good for children not to see love between their mother and father. Our last child was especially aware because I left the useless bedroom while she was young. The moral of the story is this. Young man, get out of your loveless marriage. At 65 I'm too old now to make the change, plus my friends would be stunned. Vera Vera, many people carry a secret without realizing how many others carry the same secret. Even though you feel it is too late for you, you shared your experience to help another whose life is still ahead of him. There is another moral. A secret exposed loses its power. The fear of revealing a problem traps you in the problem. When you overcome fear and openly express your feelings and the need for help, a solution becomes possible. Locked in the fear of discovery, the problem denied, there is no solution but more secrecy. Wayne & Tamara write: Directanswers@WayneAndTamara.com