Showing posts with label downtown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label downtown. Show all posts
Sunday, December 14, 2025
Merry Christmas and Thank You
Merry Christmas and Thank You
By Joe Ingino BA. Psychology
Editor/Publisher Central Newspapers
ACCOMPLISHED WRITER/AUTHOR OF OVER 800,000
Published Columns in Canada and The United States
What a great nation that we live in. A place that are blessed with great opportunity and all kinds of freedoms. Freedoms such as being able to celebrate traditional holidays such as Christmas without the fear of persecution and or prosecution.
Persecution is the systematic mistreatment, harm, or oppression of an individual or group by another, often based on religion, race, political beliefs, or identity, involving severe discrimination, violence, threats, torture, or denial of fundamental rights like freedom and equality, and can range from social ostracism to being a crime against humanity.
It's more than just unfairness; it's a deliberate campaign to subjugate, drive out, or exterminate people, as seen historically with religious groups or currently with political dissidents, and it can involve physical harm, psychological violence, or legal injustices like trumped-up charges.
Prosecution is the institution and conducting of legal proceedings against someone in respect of a criminal charge. Canada is rich in its history in the championing of rights and freedoms. So much so that many of our forefathers gave their lives in the preservation of being able to speak freely. Christmas season brings us face to face with what is important to us. At the Central we could never have been able to achieve number one without the help, support, and assistance of our readers, our advertisers and all our supporters, associates, collaborators and contributors.
Our columnists, like my good friend Cornelius Chisu, who has contributed to the Central for many years. A scholar and a true gentleman. His insights and his opinions on matters that are important to Canadians are enjoyed by millions. Without his contributions the Central would not be your favorite regional newspaper.
Men, like Dean Hickey go way out of his way to uphold industry standards. A man that has earned my respect through his intellectual appetite to become part of an industry that he has so rightly earned. An outsider to the trade that has made the outmost effort to reach for the stars and actually reach them. Thank you for your ongoing efforts and contributions.
Just recently John Mutton joined the Central team, or as he is known, Mr. X. True Durham royalty as there are few that have accomplished as much as he has in one lifetime. Welcome to the Central home.
Then there are notorious names like Lisa Robinson, Pickering councillor. Or, as she is best known.... “The People’s councilor”. A very unique human being with a mission to champion right from wrong, and to expose all that is wrong in politics and society.
One other person that really sticks out when it comes to exceptional contributions is my good friend Nick Kossovan. Here is a man that appears to have never-ending work-related topics to write about. I look so forward to his columns. Thank you, Nick. You are the best.
Then we have Diana Gifford, daughter of a great medical mind, a medical journalist Dr. Ken Walker (who writes under the pseudonym of Dr. W. Gifford-Jones, MD. He was a true scholar and gentleman... his legacy continues today through his daughters writing. We are very appreciative of your contribution from yesterdays, today and tomorrow.
Dale Jodoin, one of our most interesting columnists. His contributions have made legendary strives across the region and online. People writing and calling wanting more. Exceptional work my friend.
Among the great there is world followed, syndicated writers Wayne and Tamara. Writing on issues that touch the heart. They always present topics that are for everyone. Thank you.
Newly joined to the Central: Theresa Grant, our real estate columnist. Her local insights are very well read and commented on. Thank you for your contributions.
In a similar arena we have our good friend Bruno Scanga. His contributions are eye opening and very informative. Thank you.
Camryn Bland, in my opinion a young lady with a lot of potential. Her columns on young minds topics are a fresh welcome. Wishing you the best.
Thank you all for reading the Central. For writing for the Central.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Saturday, December 13, 2025
The Faint Of Heart
Longevity Isn’t For
The Faint Of Heart
By Diana Gifford
I have been lucky as my parents aged past 90. My father, Dr. W. Gifford-Jones, stayed vibrant longer than most people dare hope. In his nineties he was still hopping on planes, giving talks across Canada, researching and writing his next column, and scheming about the next promotion or the next stunt that would amuse him – like rappelling down Toronto’s 35-storey City Hall to raise money for the Make-a-Wish Foundation. He relished a challenge. Growing old, for him, didn’t mean slowing down. It meant a development of new priorities.
He was well past 95 when I offered to help with the computer work involved in distributing his weekly column to editors. He suffered too much frustration from IT. I should have helped sooner. But once I did, I grew closer not just to the logistics of his writing, but to the writing itself. Wouldn’t it be fun, I proposed, to write together?
He agreed and the collaboration took off. We talked through ideas, shaped arguments, laughed (and feuded) over opposing ways of seeing the same thing. It was an era of our long relationship I will forever hold precious.
As the youngest of his children, born when he was 44, I was still relatively youthful as he extended his extraordinary longevity. I had a lot of energy to give.
But not everyone’s story looks like this. In many cases, people find themselves in their seventies caring for parents in their nineties, pushing eighty supporting centenarians. A close look at what is happening in those situations reveals scenes that are anything but easy. Not everyone ages as healthily as my father did. Most elderly seniors are wrestling with chronic diseases. Add dementia into the mix and the loving commitment to care shifts to an exhausting, sometimes heartbreaking, endurance test.
The problems are varied: refusing to eat; resisting walkers or other safety supports; forgetting medications; making unsafe decisions; losing the ability to manage finances or medical appointments; neglecting property or household tasks. There are those who get very angry and sometimes violent. These issues often begin quietly and seem manageable – especially to children who are themselves aging and determined to respect their parent’s independence. But over time, the strain mounts. The risks mount. And the emotional toll mounts.
What would my father advise? He was never hesitant to speak plainly. When writing, he would use a quote, as from Will Rogers, who said, “Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” My father would say, “Don’t kid yourself. No one gets it perfect, but don’t make foolish mistakes.”
He would remind people that caring for aging parents requires equal measures of compassion and practicality. He would urge families to plan early, before a crisis, and to involve physicians, trusted friends, and community supports. He would insist that safety is not a betrayal of dignity. And he would encourage caregivers to look after their own well-being too, because no one can pour from an empty cup.
Now it’s my turn to offer counsel. I can speak to the matter of love. And I can attest that it doesn’t always look like those old greeting cards. Sometimes love is repetitive, tiring, and unglamorous work. Sometimes it is stepping in sooner than you expected. Sometimes it is saying “no” to someone who once taught you to say “yes.” But it is still love.
And if my father taught me anything, it’s that the hardest work we do for the people we love often becomes, in time, the work we treasure most.
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This column offers opinions on health and wellness, not personal medical advice. Visit www.docgiff.com to learn more. For comments, diana@docgiff.com. Follow on Instagram @diana_gifford_jones
Criticizing Consumption How Overconsumption is Affecting our Daily Lives
Criticizing Consumption
How Overconsumption is Affecting our Daily Lives
By Camryn Bland
Youth Columnist
In 2025, it can be easy to get caught up with material objects, fast-fashion purchases, and trendy items. Whether it be clothing, technology, or interior design, North American citizens constantly find themselves spending more and more money on things they simply don’t need.
Overconsumption, or hyperconsumerism, is the purchase of goods and services
far beyond what is necessary for a happy and healthy life. It’s purchasing the same shirt in five colors, it’s buying coffee in a plastic cup every morning. It is often hidden within fast-changing trends, influencing people to buy in an attempt to keep up with never-ending consumerism. What starts as harmless quickly forms consequences on individual bank accounts, socioeconomic inequality, and global climate.
Everyday, countless Canadians spend dollar after dollar on purchases which seem mundane. They buy a plastic water bottle, and say it’s only a dollar, it’s okay. They pay for a new sweater, claiming they need more clothes, so it’s a necessity. Or, they choose an update to the newest tech gadget, arguing they need the newest addition to keep up with a modern lifestyle. Tight budgets are disregarded in the name of one impulse
purchase, with many Canadians living paycheque to paycheque when they don’t have to.
Within a week, a month, a year, all the money seems to have disappeared from chequing accounts, stolen by the silent thief of consumerism.
Personal bank accounts aren’t the only issue present due to consumerism. Most purchases are first mass produced in large factories, which are a major form of pollution due to resource extraction and greenhouse gas emissions. Soon, these items are viewed as outdated, overused, or broken, and so they get thrown away without a second thought. Every item you’ve ever bought stays in the environment, often in toxic landfills
and unimaginable waste dumps. They form mountains of trash which outlive us by centuries. It is easy to forget what it takes to create everyday items, and what happens after they’ve been neglected.
The irony is, many people understand these difficult consequences, and continue to purchase without thinking. One reason is the strong, impulsive urges to buy something new. It’s exciting to use something new and shiny, but that special feeling quickly fades. This just leads to more purchases in an attempt to sustain the
unreasonable joy of a new thing.
This issue is only increased by the media. Practically all content includes advertisement, whether it be for a physical product, a lifestyle, or an idea. This intensifies the need to purchase, as they need to keep up with the unrealistic standard being portrayed online. Consumers buy and buy, but most often don’t understand what it is they want in the first place.
Stanley cups are one example among many of an unnecessary product becoming desirable due to hyperconsumerism. These simple water bottles were trending for months on end, for no specific reason. The issue isn’t with the bottle itself, it’s with the individuals who bought ten in different colors, or the celebrities who collaborated with the brand to make their own, limited-edition bottle. Individuals will choose anything to grasp onto, regardless of budgeting or practical use. A water bottle example seems silly at first, but when it’s really analyzed, it shows just how conditioned we are to consume.
As sad as it is to admit, Christmas celebrations are also an overused excuse for hyperconsumerism. There is nothing wrong with buying presents for loved ones, but when you take into consideration the wrapping paper, decorations, and single-use gifts, it is clear the holidays can morph into a season of excess.
An issue as detrimental as modern hyperconsumerism is conveniently one with a relatively simple solution, however it requires commitment and consciousness. The solution itself is to think. Consider what you’re spending your money on before you impulse purchase it. How will it affect your own bank account, and the global community as a whole? Before you buy the trendy water bottle, remind yourself of the many you have sitting unused in your kitchen. Enjoy the Christmas festivities, but keep an eye out for unnecessary waste.
A lack of purchasing isn’t the only way we can reduce hyperconsumption.
Repurposing items, such as old clothes and decorations, is an efficient way to get the new-purchase excitement. Additionally, thrift stores act as an opportunity to purchase without guilt. They act as a great guide to new favorites for an affordable choice. Since the items are second hand, it acts as an opportunity to purchase without worrying about a pricey receipt or the landfill which the thrift store saved it from.
Overconsumption is a silent thief, affecting both individuals and global pollution without being noticed. It comes in the form of trendy water bottles, an expensive holiday, and many daily purchases we would never think to consider. In the end, this issue, which may seem so mundane, is a major issue for all Canadians. We need to limit our impulsivity, and instead purchase with intention and awareness. Only through this will we be able to fight the beast of hyperconsumerism.
The Illusionist
The Illusionist
By Wayne and Tamara
I am a faithful reader of your column and would like to hear your answer. I used to date a guy who claimed he liked me. He is a nice person, and I feel I can trust him. During one of our conversations defining what we had between us, he told me he couldn’t forget the previous girl he liked.
He is a reasonably successful man who has liked this woman for the past four years. He assured me he liked me more, but as this was not something I wanted, I decided we would remain just friends. I still care for him, but I have no romantic feelings left.
What I want to know is this. I can understand his reaction if they had been together once, but they hadn’t. It was a completely one-sided love from the beginning. In fact, this woman indicated she only wanted to be friends with him, and she has been in a happy relationship with another man for two years. He says he is happy that she is happy.
Why do you think he tortures himself so? It almost makes me think he enjoys being the martyr. To be fair, he told me he would like to move on and has been trying the past four years, but is not able to. Is there anything I can do to help?
Johanna
Johanna, many people nurture a fantasy because it confers a mental gain for them. It may not be a productive way to live, but they reap a psychic benefit from doing it.
In Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” there is a noblewoman named Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Lady Catherine is a laggard whose only accomplishment in life was being born to a wealthy family. In one scene in the novel, during a discussion about playing the piano, Lady Catherine remarks, “If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient.”
Lady Catherine’s fantasy allows her to overlook her own laziness and to pretend she owes her lofty position to intrinsic merit rather than an accident of birth. In a similar way, we once knew a woman who adopted a little boy named Kenny. When Kenny was five, he wandered into traffic and was struck by a car.
A few years after Kenny’s death this woman and her husband adopted another little boy, Steve. As Steve grew up, his adoptive parents constantly told him how remarkable Kenny had been. In their memory Kenny was a child with a natural ability to charm animals. He learned to read before other children and possessed unusual athletic abilities.
No matter what Steve accomplished, he could never measure up to Kenny. When Steve married, his adoptive mother remarked, “Kenny would never have dated a woman like that.” It is almost too cruel to add that, though Steve cared for his parents in their old age, they secretly left all their assets to another relative. Their fantasy of Kenny was the tool they used to justify their abuse of Steve.
Your friend’s devotion to this woman also must confer a psychic benefit. Perhaps he is afraid of intimacy and afraid of women. If he acknowledges this as a problem, he can go to therapy. Or he can nurture this fantasy all of his life. That’s for him to decide.
But if his devotion is a ploy, it is simply his method of dating. He has no real intention of getting married, so he tells women: jump through this hoop and try to win me. When you are tired of trying and want to move on, remember that I warned you I loved someone else.
If that is the case, he definitely won’t seek help because there is nothing to cure. Frankly, we suspect if he genuinely wanted this woman, he wouldn’t be so happy for her. He would be hoping she’d give him a chance.
Wayne & Tamara
Saturday, December 6, 2025
Karmageddon
What We Got Wrong About Independence
What We Got Wrong
About Independence
By Diana Gifford
What’s happened, that we feed our children a single definition of success? Grow up and leave home, climb the ladder, buy a house, and live an “independent” life. At the same time, aging parents assert they must never become a burden on their grown children. These aspirations for self-reliance are ingrained in our concept of good living.
But I wonder if we have it wrong.
Personal conviction, self-directed decisions, accomplishing goals on one’s own – these are all powerful elements of autonomy that come with the reward of feeling accomplished and satisfied. But interdependence – begin together and relying on others – is what keeps people healthy. We are a social species, and in social groups is how human beings are best suited to live.
In our modern ways of organizing ourselves in society, we have forgotten that multigenerational households were the norm for most of human history. It’s been a relatively recent development that we have measured success by dispersing the family into multiple homes, each behind its own closed door.
The social experiment is not going well. Loneliness has become a public-health epidemic, increasing the risk of premature death at rates comparable to smoking and obesity!
Meanwhile, the housing data tell a striking story. While the buzz is loud about lack of housing, in fact, our communities are full of empty bedrooms. Literally millions of them, most in the homes of older adults living alone. At the same time, young people are struggling to find an affordable apartment, weighed down by debt, and postponing milestones like starting families because rent consumes too much of their income. We have a structural surplus of space and a structural deficit in seeing solutions.
What if the answer is not more construction, but more connection?
Small but powerful examples are showing the benefits. Home-share programs match seniors with university students. Cohousing developments arrange single older adults in private suites around shared kitchens and gardens. Some young people, groups of friends, are going in together on the purchase of a jointly-owned first home. In these settings, researchers find better mental health, greater life satisfaction, and fewer emergency-room visits by older residents. Togetherness is good medicine.
As for the fear of being a burden, it deserves reconsideration. Studies show that adult children who help care for a parent often feel more purpose and emotional closeness, not resentment. Older adults living with family tend to stay healthier and independent longer. Ironically, the determination to avoid burdening anyone can lead to the very outcome people are trying to avoid.
And more good news, as there are environmental benefits. Multigenerational households use far less energy per person. Three generations under one roof leave a much smaller environmental footprint than three separate homes. Living together is climate friendly. But the biggest factor is economic. A large body of research has shown that one of the most significant determinants of health is economic status. Yes, studies on the health impacts of living alone, of single parent versus traditional family structures, or of communal living, offer insights. But the research is clear that these factors are less important to health than the mighty dollar. So, if living together will improve financial wellbeing, then it’s an excellent investment in health.
Multigenerational living isn’t right for every family. But for many, it could be exactly the right antidote – to financial stress, and to today’s fractured social landscape. We would do well to create more well-designed cohabitation, with vetted roommates, seniors paired with students, and shared community spaces. As a result, we could expect stronger family ties, improved housing utilization, reduced loneliness, and better health.
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This column offers opinions on health and wellness, not personal medical advice. Visit www.docgiff.com to learn more. For comments, diana@docgiff.com. Follow on Instagram @diana_gifford_jones
Eco-Friendly Holiday Gifts
Eco-Friendly Holiday Gifts
by Larraine Roulston
‘Protecting Our Ecosystem’
In December, we use more resources than during any other month. Often they do not get reused, recycled, or composted. When giving Christmas gifts, there are many ways to be gentler on the earth.
Although shopping online may be convenient, try to support your community’s small businesses. If purchasing a bicycle or other sports equipment, for example, local sports retailers are better equipped to help you with your selection, accessories, as well as any ongoing maintenance issues.
Check out thrift stores for board games, toys, and unique gifts. Everything is generally in mint condition. Jewellery as well, sparkles elegantly in a thrift shore’s small showcase.
Buy in bulk! From a bulk food store or special area in your supermarket, select nuts, dried fruits, candy or other holiday treats. If you take your own small bags or other containers, you may even receive a discount. Bulk stores can weigh empty jars prior to your filling them.
From the resident chef, Christmas cheer can take the form of homemade cookies, mincemeat pies, chocolate squares, and braided fruit breads.
Even liqueurs like Baileys, can be whipped up in a few minutes. The recipe is simple. Using a blender, add 3 eggs and 3 tablespoons of chocolate powder mix. While this is blending, include a few drops of almond extract, 1 pint of whipping cream, 1 can of Eagle Brand milk, then top with 1 cup of inexpensive rye whiskey. Bottle, add a bow, and refrigerate.
Experienced knitters are able to create doll clothes, stuffed toys, toques, slippers, mitts, and finger puppets. The season offers an opportunity to teach a child how to knit a scarf or a hot pad. Simple gifts such as these are treasured forever. Older children can have fun crafting personalized stationery in art, or using a computer. They can also create word search puzzles.
If sourcing scented herbs or other ingredients, one can find recipes on how to make homemade lip balm, soaps, shampoos and other personal care products.
Your time can also be appreciated. Just as much thought and effort can go into practicing a favourite song on a musical instrument. Library books can become a gift when accompanied by an offer to do more household chores so that your recipient has time to read them before their due date. Gifts also can include repairing or up-cycling.
Enjoy giving a memorable experience such as theatre tickets or dining out.
Be creative wrapping gifts with magazine pages, newsprint, tea towels (a gift within a gift), or other fabrics. If you do buy wrapping paper, avoid glossy and metallic ones that cannot be recycled.
Generally, eco-friendly ideas and do-it-yourself crafts will help people stay within their budget. This year, have fun making your holiday season easier on our fragile ecosystem
Christmas clean up as well, requires reusing, recycling, and composting. Think about World Soil Day that is celebrated on December 5th. To have healthy soil for a healthy future — Compost!
Larraine has been an environmental freelance writer since 1988 and authors
children’s books on composting.
Why You Need a Solid Financial Strategy
Why You Need a Solid Financial Strategy
By Bruno M. Scanga
In recent years, the F.I.R.E. movement—short for Financial Independence, Retire Early—has gained traction among Canadians looking to leave the workforce decades ahead of the traditional retirement age.
While the dream of stepping away from work in your 40s or 50s is exciting, it also raises a big question: how do you make your money last when you could be retired for 30, 40, or even 50 years?
Over the past century, Canadians have seen their lifespans stretch—many now live well into their 80s—yet the age at which they stop working hasn’t shifted much. That extended retirement phase can put a serious strain on your finances.
According to a recent Reddit survey, Canada’s average expected retirement age is around 64, with nearly half planning to retire before 65—but many also lack confidence in being ready when the time comes. In fact, the average actual retirement age climbed from 64.3 to 65.3 between 2020 and 2024.
Imagine retiring at 55—or even 64—and living into your 80s or 90s. You could be looking at 20 to 40 years of retirement to fund. That’s great for personal fulfillment, but less so for your wallet.
Planning Pays Off
Here’s the hard math: the longer your retirement, the more money you need—either by saving more, investing wisely, or a bit of both. Chasing high-risk investments might seem tempting, but it often backfires. Conversely, saving too much now could mean sacrificing your quality of life today. Balance is key.
Have you chatted about this with your partner? Retirement planning is a team sport. A recent Investment Executive study found that just 23% of couples have fully discussed all aspects of retirement, while 55% only have a general idea, which means most “canoes” are paddling off in different directions.
A financial advisor can help you crunch the numbers to see how even small boosts in your savings—especially when started early—can compound into significant long-term gains. Plus, they can help you navigate retirement vehicles like RRSPs and TFSAs:
· RRSPs: Contributions are tax-deductible now, but withdrawals are taxed later.
· TFSAs: No tax deduction upfront, but money grows and comes out tax-free.
· CPP & OAS: You can start CPP as early as age 60 (at a reduced amount) or defer past 65 to boost benefits. OAS generally begins at age 65.
The Reality Check
Here’s the real concern (according to Pension Pulse) nearly 49% of Canadians worry they’ll outlive their retirement savings, and 66% expect to keep working even after retirement age just to make ends meet. Successful retirement planning isn’t an impossible task if you start with a good plan and good advice. 
Let Him Lead
Let Him Lead
By Wayne and Tamara
I ended my marriage after 15 years. I’ve been separated for five years and haven’t dated anyone. I really had no interest in dating. In July I met the father of my son’s friend. He, too, is separated and has been for four years.
In his case his wife ended the marriage. He was devastated. He indicated at one time he could never go through that again. His son lives with him, and since the boys are together all the time, we talk often. We’ve become good friends and enjoy talking to each other.
I’m becoming attracted to him. He has all the qualities I look for. He has a wonderful personality, a sense of humor, and a closeness to his family. He is interesting and kind. I find it hard to decide if he is attracted to me but afraid of getting involved with anyone, or not attracted to me at all.
We have not yet gone on a date. He did invite my two boys and me to his camp this summer for the day, and had the boys and I to his camp for Thanksgiving dinner with some of his family. While talking to him the next day, I told him the boys had a great time, and he asked if I had as well.
I’ve invited him to my office Christmas party, which he accepted. It is a large event with dinner and dancing. This will be the first time we will be out alone. What should I look for to determine his feelings toward me?
Elaine
Elaine, don’t make a problem which doesn’t exist. A relationship between the two of you has been slowly building. You understand his fears and concerns. So how do you address that? By letting him lead.
If you force the relationship, he will feel threatened. When he senses this is a relationship he wants, he will move forward on his own unless he sees you only as a friend and the parent of his son’s friend. Since there is no problem here—you are not dating him—act like a single, available woman.
Imagine you are a fisherman. There is a big trout in the water and you’d love to land him, but all you can do is throw your lure out there. You can’t make the fish bite, but there are other fish in the stream. Making yourself available will make you less disheartened and desperate about this one fish.
The more you try to force your lure on a fish, the greater the chance you will scare it off. Be relaxed, patient, and open to all possible relationships. Not only does that give you the greatest chance for success, it creates a desirable aura around you—the kind of aura which will attract others, including this man, to you.
Wayne & Tamara
Approaching Storm
After 10 years of marriage is it settling to be with someone who says they love you but aren’t in love with you? What if that person thinks being “in love” is a childish fantasy and grownups don’t need to be “in love” to have a happy marriage? Is being “in love” really that important?
Kim
Kim, let us assume the person who says this is your husband. Then the question for him is, how do you keep sailing once you’ve thrown out the star which guides you? What is the foundation of your captaincy? Financial security? Personal advantage? Convenience?
Circumstances change. Sickness, a business failure, or an ill wind can alter any of the reasons for being together. So can unexpected success. But love holds people together both on calm seas and when things get rough. Without love you have to keep changing why your contract should still be valid.
A marriage without love is like sailing in the Bermuda Triangle. At any time one of you might disappear forever.
Wayne & Tamara
Employers Weigh the Risks of Hiring a Candidate, Along With Their Qualifications
Employers Weigh the Risks of Hiring a
Candidate, Along With
Their Qualifications
By Nick Kossovan
Strategically appearing as a low-risk candidate is one of the most effective ways to stand out from your competition.
Many job seekers love to spend their time and energy criticizing how employers eliminate and hire candidates, which is easy to do when you're not the one bearing the many risks that come with hiring. When I hear or read job seekers "venting," I think to myself, "Easy for you to say, you're not the one taking the hiring risk."
An employer's hiring process revolves around reducing hiring risks. Employers aim to hire low-risk candidates. A job seeker who understands and empathizes with the employer's point of view recognizes that showing they're a low-risk hire with high potential for success greatly increases their chances of getting hired.
Keeping in mind that the hiring process is inherently a process of elimination, which candidate comes across as low-risk, A or B?
Post interview:
Candidate A: Their LinkedIn profile lacks a banner, a headshot, measurable achievements, a compelling career summary, and recommendations.
Candidate B: Their LinkedIn profile is fully optimized, clearly demonstrating the value they can add to an employer's profitability.
Candidate A: Their resume contains grammatical errors and/or typos.
Candidate B: Their resume is error-free.
Candidate A: Doesn't include a cover letter.
Candidate B: Includes a well-written cover letter that offers three strong reasons why they're qualified for the position.
Candidate A: Has held three jobs in the past five years.
Candidate B: They've been with their current or former employer for over eight years.
Interview:
Candidate A: Arrives a few minutes late.
Candidate B: Shows up 10 minutes early. You find them in the reception area, engaging with the receptionist or reading one of the industry magazines on the table.
Candidate A: Limited eye contact and facial expressions. They avoid small talk and don't appear enthusiastic about the job or the company.
Candidate B: Offers a firm handshake, smiles, builds rapport, maintains eye contact throughout the interview, is conversational, and asks thought-provoking questions.
Political strategist Lee Atwater once said, "Perception is reality." Be mindful of how you present yourself to recruiters and employers. Although it's impossible to be a 100% risk-free hire, focus on appearing as low-risk as you can in these three key areas.
Frequent Job Changes / Employment Gaps
Turnover is expensive and disruptive, so employers understandably hesitate to hire candidates with a history of job-hopping, without clear career progression, or with significant employment gaps. Generally, employers see this as an indication that the candidate is unlikely to stay long or that they struggle to adapt to new work environments.
For any short-term position (under three years), include on your resume and LinkedIn profile whether it was a contract, resulted from a layoff, relocation, career progression, or other reasons. (e.g., "Project Manager (1-year contract)," "Software Engineer (part of a company-wide layoff).") Providing context for why your job(s) duration was short is an essential part of sharing your career story, which employers consider when evaluating your candidacy.
Similarly, when a hiring manager notices an extended period of unemployment without explanation, they tend to assume (perception shaping their reality) that you were either fired, unable to find work (employers rejecting you), or "taking it easy."
Provide context for any employment gaps you may have. If you took time off for education, caring for a family member, personal growth, or any other reason, mention it in your resume and LinkedIn profile.
Negotiating Compensation / Asking for an "Exception"
This and the following truism might lose some of you, but they need to be said.
At some point during the hiring process, you'll learn about the compensation package being offered for the position. You've three choices: accept what's offered, walk away or try to negotiate a better deal.
Negotiating carries the risk that the job offer might be rescinded; it can also make you seem like you'll always want more, which can make you appear difficult (read: risky) to manage. If you're willing to walk away, you have nothing to lose by trying to negotiate. However, if you need the job, focus on securing it! Don't risk losing it over $10,000, which is significantly less after taxes.
Furthermore, asking for "an exception" can also make it seem you'll be difficult to manage. The team's harmony, business policies, and processes are already established, and the employer's working hours and clients' expectations are set. Requesting an exception, such as working from home when the team works onsite, suggests a lack of fit; thus, you'd be a risky hire.
Overqualified
Being overqualified means you possess more skills and experience than the job requires or that it's reasonable to pay for. Overqualified isn't code for ageism or that you'll be a threat to your boss; these are comforting lies job seekers tell themselves. When you apply for a job, you're clearly overqualified for, it's natural for the employer to question your motivation and assume you'll be a flight risk, making you a risky hire.
Overcoming the challenge of being overqualified can be tough. Begin by being honest with yourself: are you applying because you genuinely want to take a step back, or because you're desperate? If it's the latter, don't blame employers for not hiring you. Would you hire someone who's desperate?
My advice for overcoming being overqualified is to trim unnecessary information from your resume and LinkedIn profile; some things are better left unsaid. Think about the job you're applying for and highlight the specific experiences that demonstrate why you're a good fit. If any experience isn't relevant to the position, leave it out; now's not the time to showcase all skills and experience.
When Common Sense Dies A Nation Dies With It
When Common Sense Dies A Nation Dies With It
By Dale Jodoin
Journalist and Columnist
Some mornings I sit with my coffee and wonder how the world slipped so far off its track. It did not happen in one big moment. It happened in small steps until regular people woke up and felt like strangers in their own country. The pressure grew. The rules changed. The words changed. And the truth started to feel like something you had to hide.
When I grew up, the big fear was nuclear war. It was a real worry, but at least people spoke honestly about it. At least you knew what the threat was. Today the fear comes in soft waves. Every few years someone says the world will end in five years. They repeat it to kids who barely understand life yet. You cannot grow hope on fear. You cannot build a strong country on doom.
Kids today do not have the anchors we had. We had parents who worked hard. We had grandparents who carried old lessons. We had aunts and uncles who taught us how to stand up and make our own way. How many young people only hear warnings? They hear that everything is broken. They hear that nothing will get better. They hear that the climate is falling apart and that they might not have a future. It leaves them empty.
While this fear fills the air, the Liberals and NDP tell people to trust them. They promise that more spending will fix everything. More programs. More rules. More taxes. They treat the country like a bank card that never runs out. But money always runs out. Bills always show up. And regular families always pay in the end.
People feel this every day. At the grocery store. With rent. With gas. With heat. They feel it when taxes climb while services fall apart. They feel it when the government says everything is fine even though nothing feels fine. Leaders keep saying this is progress, but nobody living a regular life agrees.
And underneath it all there is a message. Keep quiet. Do not speak up. Do not question anything. If you protect your family, people call you selfish. If you point out a problem, people say you are dangerous. If you disagree with a popular idea, they use names as weapons. They use fear to control the conversation.
This pressure hits young men the hardest. Many grow up hearing that everything wrong in the world is their fault. Some are told they should stop being who they are. They are confused before they even start their lives. They feel like they have to apologize for being born. It wears them down.
At the same time, the government keeps bringing in more people who also need help. This is not an attack on newcomers. It is simple math. If a boat is sinking you cannot load more passengers on it. But the Liberals and NDP do it anyway because it looks good in a headline. They ignore the fact that hospitals are full, housing is gone, and schools are stretched thin. They want to be seen as kind, even if the country snaps under the weight.
University was supposed to teach young adults how to think. How many walk in hopeful and walk out bitter. They come home speaking like the country is an enemy. They talk about ripping everything down and building something new with ideas that never worked anywhere else. It is not learning. It is training. And it leaves them lost.
Hate has also grown in ways many older people never expected. The sudden rise in hostility toward Jewish Canadians and Jewish people around the world has shocked those who remember real history. They thought the world had learned. Now they watch crowds chant angry things while leaders stand back and mumble. It shakes something deep in the soul.
And through all of this, regular people are just trying to survive. They wake up tired. They go to work. They try to raise kids in a world that feels loud and mean. They try to stay out of trouble. But every step feels like thin ice. If they speak up, someone attacks them. If they stay silent, nothing gets better.
This is where your line fits, Dale. A country cannot find itself if the people inside it are too scared to tell the loud confused voices to sit down. We have people now who try to kill common sense on purpose. They twist words. They spread lies. They demand we stop thinking. And if you dare to use your own mind they beat you with nonsense until you doubt your own eyes. It reminds me of a poet I like. If a boy with a simple slingshot can stay calm, the world can bend. A whisper is enough to set people free if they hold on to it long enough.
So what do we do when the country feels like it is heading into a fog. The answer is not smooth. It is not pretty. But it is simple. People need to vote for someone who will do the hard work. Not someone who makes us feel good. Not someone who hands out money we do not have. A leader who tightens the belt. A leader who says no to public unions when needed. A leader who puts the country first instead of politics.
It will upset people. It always does when someone tries to clean up a house that has been ignored. But if we keep going the way we are, nothing will improve. Kids need hope again. Families need stability again. The country needs a spine again.
The world is loud right now. It tells people to sit down. It tells them to obey. It tells them to stop thinking. But a country cannot survive if the people inside it feel unwanted. Canada cannot grow strong if its citizens are treated like problems.
Real change starts with a whisper. A simple voice saying I want a life that makes sense again.
That is how a country finds itself. 
CITY OF OSHAWA WEBSITE POSTS DECEMBER “DATES OF SIGNIFICANCE” WITHOUT CHRISTMAS
CITY OF OSHAWA WEBSITE POSTS DECEMBER
“DATES OF SIGNIFICANCE” WITHOUT CHRISTMAS
VISIT THE CITY OF OSHAWA OFFICIAL WEBSITE and you’ll see a list of what’s happening by way of upcoming council and committee meetings, community events, and what the municipality considers to be important news for the benefit of its residents. Click on the ‘News’ tab and you’re taken straight to the City’s ‘Newsroom’ page where you’ll find a host of information on all manner of topics, ranging from career opportunities to emergency communications. Nowadays it seems difficult to imagine a time when all we had was a list of important telephone numbers and the odd newspaper advertisement informing us of upcoming public events.
Within the neatly arranged network of information provided by various city hall departments is a link entitled “December 2025 days of significance” which transfers you to a rather non-descript page showing a list of cultural and other special occasions for the current month – occasions that “…mark meaningful days and milestones that echo our values and bring us together…” You can also elect to become a subscriber to receive e-mail notifications in real time, should you be interested in knowing first-hand what’s happening in the community.
As part of this month’s ‘e-blast’ as they’ve come to be known, subscribers received a notification as to the current Days of Significance list, however, in what can only be seen as an appalling slight against our nation’s Judeo-Christian heritage, the list provided by the City did not include any reference whatsoever to December 25th, being of course, Christmas Day. The omission was soon caught by residents who viewed a graphic of the list (shown here) that had been posted simultaneously onto social media.
As a result of the ensuing public outcry, and the efforts of at least one of the more involved members of council, a revised list that included the Christmas celebration was posted some time afterwards, although the offending error appeared as a Facebook 'story' until the following day.
Things like this don't happen by accident, and this very unfortunate occurrence is nothing less than a black eye on the face of Oshawa’s civic administration - and someone must be held to account.
That said, this didn’t happen overnight. Certain members of staff somehow felt it necessary to alter the process of providing information to the residents of Oshawa by turning what should have been a simple notification into something quite disturbing. Included alongside the list of dates are no less than two links that take you to the City’s Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives page. It seems the current mission of those who make up the DEI division is to impose their ideology on an unsuspecting city. Part of that ideology is an obvious determination to at least partially exclude references to Christian celebrations that are enjoyed by a majority of Oshawa’s residents - all in the name of celebrating “the rich tapestry of cultures, voices, and stories that shape our community” as long as those voices represent anyone outside the Judeo-Christian fabric that remains the foundation of this country.
The Central newspaper was the first media outlet to post a Breaking News story about this issue directly onto social media, and the resultant ‘thread’ of public commentary was certainly instructive. It is impossible to escape the impression that too many people on Facebook are driven to use false standards of measurement as they seek to advance thoughts and ideas they should realize are inherently destructive. For reasons I suggest are the result of self-denial, they seek to share an underestimation of what is really of true value in our society. What they see as greatness rests on attributes that are completely foreign to the ideals of the majority of Canadians.
The views that were expressed as to the omission of Christmas from the Days of Significance list caused me no small difficulty, rest assured. There are obvious delusions among keyboard warriors pretending to be champions of social justice, and they are at times quite difficult to deal with.
I have endeavored to guard myself against the enthusiastic prejudice which holds that our Western culture is somehow not worth maintaining, and that its continuation can only be a reflection of some sort of oppression against other ideals. None of that is true, and I suggest those who are offering up such a narrative on social media and elsewhere fall into two categories, those being malevolent, and ignorant.
The kind of ideological agenda that gave rise to the omission of the Christmas celebration from the City of Oshawa’s December list of dates won’t self-correct. It has been imposed on the cultural fabric within city hall, and by extension, the community at large. Every year, an increasing number of indoctrinated people enter into a combined effort to erode the cultural consensus that has up to now held our nation in relative peace.
This is a fight, and unless the rest of society fights back and hard, it will only get worse.
It’s Immoral Derek Giberson Has To GO in 2026
It’s Immoral
Derek Giberson Has To GO in 2026
By Joe Ingino BA. Psychology
Editor/Publisher Central Newspapers
ACCOMPLISHED WRITER/AUTHOR OF OVER 800,000
Published Columns in Canada and The United States
Is it just me? I drive down our downtown core and my heart aches. Watching people sleeping on the street. Temperatures hovering around - 2. Watching this injustice. This suffering in Canada puts my mind in a state of panic. I look at these people and can’t believe that we are allowing this to happen. These people could be any one of us.
To think that when a fellow citizen falls that low in their luck and there is no support...
It is wrong and immoral. I ran for office in 2018 and 2022 to put an end to this. I was not successful. Maybe I should be more like those elected and be cold and uncaring. How can any elected official take a taxpayers dime in payment knowing the suffering that is going on right on our streets... In Oshawa we have two representatives. What have they done in the two terms they served? NOTHING. It appears that ‘NOTHING’ in todays society is and accomplishment.
Yet, people are defying on our streets from the cold and from drug over usage. This is unacceptable. For example. We have the likes of wanna be rock star, City councillor Derek Giberson. What has he done for the downtown in the two terms he has served.
I can tell you. He has spent your taxpayers resources in persecuting local downtown merchants like this newspaper and failed. He has spent your tax dollars on hearings and procedural mumbo jumbo against citizens. He has failed. I would estimate to the tune of over $300,000. Money that should have gone to shelter people living on the street. No instead this councillor chooses to push for ‘safe site’ injection sites. This in my book is unacceptable. This local councillor does not belong in municipal politics as he is directly responsible for the poor condition of our core.
He in my opinion is directly responsible for all the failed business in our core. This councillor has failed us so much... that he allowed millions to be wasted on ‘Veterans Park’. A newly erected park smack downtown. A property that could have been turned into a much needed indoor garage. A facility that could have housed thousands of people from the cold until a more concrete solution is found.
Giberson in my opinion is a disgrace to our City. He had the opportunity to do great things and he wasted them on persecuting those he does not like. He uses your resource to make go no place points... and he has failed on his attempt time and time again. HE HAS TO GO IN 2026.
The homeless problem is not going to go any place. If anything it is going to get worst. This new economic Pandemic takes no prisoners.
When we see one person on the street. There 10 others that are living with friends, family or in their cars. I have spoken to many of them. Their stories have resemblances as the outcome is unfortunate. Most of them never thought that they would end up on the street. Many have lost jobs, have little or not family. Others suffered/suffer some sort of disability decease. Just this week the Federal government gave millions to the Ukraine to fight a never ending or impossible war to win. Why has the government not used that money to fight our home front war of hunger and the homeless.
Here is what I would do with just a million: 1. Secure a place to in-houe at least 1,000 people. It can be done. Look at most bomb shelters. A facility that would offer shower, cafeteria and medical assistance. 2. Partner with the University to have their health student practice at the shelter. 3. Make it mandatory that all grocery store send over their almost expired foods. Partner with industry and trade to fund the purchase of staple foods. 4. Create work programs through the City in the works department and other. 5. Create un-used hospital wards as treatment centers for those with addictions and or mental health. 6. Partner with the Provincial and Federal Governments for hands on programs that would be directed to special squads to get people off the streets and into these ‘rejuvenation’ facilities. The homeless situation can be managed. Stop voting in nose drips like Giberson. We need real leadership. For real problems.
In 2026 make the right change and stop rewarding failure.
A Stronger Canadian Economy Is Possible if We Confront Our Provincial Barriers
Monday, December 1, 2025
Queen’s Park
Queen’s Park
By Theresa Grant
Real Estate Columnist
If you’ve been paying attention to the recent news out of Queen’s Park, you’ll know that the extremely controversial Bill 60 has passed. But what exactly does that mean for the people of Ontario?
Well, I guess that depends on whether you’re a landlord or a tenant. Believe it or not, even people that are neither have very strong opinions on this Bill. I guess it goes back to the fact that the vast majority of us at one time or another were tenants and almost everyone has had to deal with a landlord at some point.
For as much as the opposition is shaking their fists and saying this is far too aggressive on the part the landlords’ rights, it really is just leveling the playing field somewhat. For many years the pendulum swung far too much to one side and that side was the tenant’s rights.
For years now landlords have had their rental properties held hostage in a sense by tenants that won’t pay rent and won’t move out. All the while, the landlord has to fill out mountains of paperwork, meet strict deadlines for filing that paperwork and then sit back and wait.
As usual, many people are reacting to headlines before they get the actual meat and potatoes of the story. I would say there have been adjustments more than real changes when it comes to the Landlord and Tenant Board.
For example, the landlord now only has to wait 7 days after nonpayment of rent as opposed to 14 to file for eviction for nonpayment of rent (N4).
In a lot of cases, if you are a good tenant and always pay your rent on time, your landlord will hold off on this procedure anyway. The key here is your past behaviour and your relationship with your landlord.
Another notable adjustment has been the procedure for eviction when it comes to having a family member move in or if the landlord needs the unit themselves.
The landlord no longer has to compensate the tenant and no longer has to provide alternative housing. The landlord absolutely still has to give the proper notice to the tenant though.
The bill also states that if you are a tenant and you are not up to date on your rent and you choose to raise issues about your landlord during a hearing with the Landlord Tenant Board, you will have to pay at least half of the back owed rent prior to being able to raise those issues.
I would say overall, this has been a recalibrating of power between landlords and tenants in the province of Ontario which has been lopsided for far too long. At the end of the day, there are red flags for bad tenants and bad landlords. Look for them and heed them when you see them. 
Saturday, November 29, 2025
Hernias Are An Age Old Problem
Hernias Are An Age
Old Problem
By Diana Gifford
Hernias are an ancient ailment. And modern medicine still debates the best ways to repair or live with them.
One of the earliest references appears in the Ebers Papyrus, an Egyptian medical scroll from around 1550 BCE. The treatment for hernias was to push them back into place, in techniques described by Hippocrates. Galen, a Greek physician to gladiators and Roman emperors, had a preference for treating “surgical conditions by means other than the knife.” One can only imagine.
An enduring piece of hernia lore is the truss. A truss was essentially a belt with a pad designed to apply pressure to the protrusion. Trusses were made of leather, metal, or fabric. Some people wore them for decades. Apparently Benjamin Franklin, suffering from a hernia, customized the design of his own truss for improved comfort.
Look no further than to Medieval Europe to find the most absurd so-called cures. Some believed that passing through a split tree trunk – literally crawling through it – could cure a hernia. The tree would then be bound shut, as though healing the patient by analogy. Odd times.
Early hernia surgery was crude, painful, and often fatal. Before the late 19th century, the combination of infection, lack of anesthesia, and poor anatomical knowledge made abdominal operations deeply dangerous.
The turning point came with Eduardo Bassini, an Italian surgeon who, in the 1880s, meticulously studied the groin’s anatomy and introduced a systematic way to reconstruct it. His technique, though modified many times since, is widely regarded as the first reliable hernia repair.
The 20th century brought the introduction of surgical mesh. Using mesh allowed surgeons to reinforce weakened tissue and reduce recurrence rates. It was heralded as a breakthrough, though in recent decades it has also sparked debate and litigation. Mesh can be enormously effective, but as with many medical advances, its success is not guaranteed.
Today, many people delay treatment out of fear, embarrassment, or the hope that the problem might resolve itself. They can result from lifting, chronic coughing, pregnancy, or even genetic predisposition. They are democratic: they affect the young, old, athletic, sedentary, cautious, and risk-takers alike.
In the internet era, the ancient impulse to treat hernias at home has been revived by self-proclaimed experts posting videos of DIY abdominal wraps, self-reduction tutorials, and miracle cures. Some echo centuries-old remedies – compresses, belts, or herbal treatments. Others are newly imagined, drawing on the vast creativity of people in online forums.
The fact is, hernias can occur in many different parts of the body, from a variety of causes, and with a wide range of implications, sometimes inconsequential and sometimes fatal. So go and see a doctor to determine the best treatment for you.
Readers often write requesting information about what the take of Dr. W. Gifford-Jones was on one medical issue or another. He had a much appreciated “no nonsense” philosophy. From reading his column for years and years, he was known and trusted.
Well, you can still find what he had to say on topics like hernias. Go to www.docgiff.com and type the keywords of interest into the search engine (a little magnifying glass icon in the top right of the page). For example, type “hernia” and you’ll get access to columns on “how to decrease the risk of large bowel hernias”, “if it’s partly broken, should you fix it?”, and advice to “think twice about hernia surgery”.
Columns since around the year 2000 are posted. I’m posting more and more of the older archive of columns too. Among them, some gems!
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This column offers opinions on health and wellness, not personal medical advice. Visit www.docgiff.com to learn more. For comments, diana@docgiff.com. Follow on Instagram @diana_gifford_jones
2025 Year in Review: Staying Financially Strong in Uncertainty
2025 Year in Review:
Staying Financially Strong in Uncertainty
By Bruno M. Scanga
As we wrap up 2025, it’s a good time to pause and reflect on what the year has brought—and more importantly, how to position ourselves for success in 2026. This year has been another reminder that global uncertainty is here to stay. Trade tensions, fluctuating interest rates, and uneven economic growth have all played a part in shaping Canada’s financial landscape. The good news? Despite all the noise, there are solid, practical steps you can take to stay financially strong.
A Look Back at 2025
Inflation continued to cool through 2025, allowing the Bank of Canada to begin cautiously lowering rates after several years of tightening. While this offered some relief to borrowers, many Canadians renewing their mortgages still faced higher payments than before. Growth remained modest—around 1%—as global trade pressures and slower exports weighed on the economy.
For investors, markets were mixed. Canadian equities were steady, U.S. markets showed resilience, and bonds regained some traction as interest rates eased. Overall, it’s been a year where patience and diversification paid off.
What This Means for You
Periods like this call for a thoughtful financial strategy. Here are a few strategies to carry into 2026:
1. Revisit your budget and cash flow.
Higher living costs and mortgage renewals can tighten monthly budgets. Take time to review spending and look for ways to increase your savings margin—even a small monthly surplus can build valuable flexibility.
2. Strengthen your emergency fund.
If 2025 has taught us anything, it’s that uncertainty can show up quickly. Aim to keep at least three to six months of essential expenses in a readily accessible account.
3. Stay invested, but be strategic.
Trying to time the market rarely works. Instead, focus on maintaining a diversified portfolio that matches your goals and risk tolerance. If interest rates continue to drift lower in 2026, both fixed income and equity investments could benefit.
4. Use registered plans wisely.
Whether it’s topping up your RRSP, maxing out your TFSA, or contributing to a RESP or FHSA, these accounts offer powerful tax advantages. Every dollar sheltered from unnecessary tax is a dollar working harder for your future.
5. Plan for the long term—no matter the headlines.
Economic slowdowns, trade issues, and market swings are part of every cycle. The key is having a plan that adjusts with conditions, not one that reacts to fear or hype.
Looking Ahead to 2026
Most forecasts suggest a slow but steady recovery next year. If inflation stays near target, the Bank of Canada could trim rates further—good news for borrowers and markets alike. That said, it’s still wise to prepare for volatility.
The bottom line? Focus on what you can control: your savings habits, spending discipline, and investment strategy. Global uncertainty may persist, but a well-built financial plan is still your best tool for confidence and stability.
Here’s to finishing 2025 strong and stepping into 2026 with clarity and purpose. 
I Smell A…
I Smell A...
By Wayne and Tamara
I was in love for the first time with a man for five years while he was a student at an elite university. We were secretly engaged to be married quietly. During the last year he was away for other training. Two months before the wedding, he called it off.
A year later, on the same day we were to be married, he married another woman. Four years later I married, and today I am divorced from the man I settled for.
Forty-three years later the first man contacted me. We met and he told me this story. He claims he is happily married. The reasons he did not marry me were he thought I was smarter than him, he did not want to take me from my family, and he did not think I would like the travel involved in his career.
None of these things were told to me at the time. He said he thought about me for years and would not come to our home city for fear of seeing me. He said he checked to be sure I was divorced before contacting me.
I am so angry with him for reentering my life. I still cannot believe him. Plus, how dare he say he is happily married and was still thinking of me, even while making love to his wife! After talking awhile following our brief reunion, we stopped all communication. Have you ever heard a crazier story?
Ursula
Ursula, plane geometry involves proving propositions from axioms. When Wayne was in school, he had a geometry teacher who often grew impatient with the illogical reasons students offered as proof. When students threw out any old thing they could think of, the teacher would interrupt and say, “You’re just throwing manure at the barn wall in hopes that some of it will stick.”
That seems to describe this man’s reasons for breaking your engagement. What woman wants a secret engagement? She wants to shout it from the rooftops and show the ring. So I would surmise secrecy was his idea, and if the promise of marriage changed the nature of your relationship to his benefit, that’s the proof.
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “The character of every act depends upon the circumstances in which it is done.” Forty-three years ago this man engaged you in secret, and when he was out of town, he broke the engagement. Then he rubbed your nose in it by marrying another woman on the same date the following year.
Forty-three years later, in another act of disloyalty, he comes to you without his wife’s knowledge, and shares a vulgarity about their lovemaking which you didn’t want to know. It appears he stirred the pot and is waiting to see if it starts simmering. If you go forward, then it’s all on you.
It’s too bad more things in life are not like a hot stove: touch it once and you learn the lesson of getting burned forever. This man said I love you, I love you, I love you, and then in a way which would satisfy even Wayne’s old geometry teacher, he proved the opposite. But women often cling to memories of their first love, especially when the relationship involves physical intimacy.
You are no longer the innocent girl you once were. You are a mature woman who can see that actions are the proof of character. You cannot project that a life with him would have ended well simply because your need for the right partner was never fulfilled.
When we think of things in our own head, we don’t have to phrase them charitably or in shades of grey or in psychologically correct terms. We are free to think in terms which express both the situation’s reality and our legitimate anger. You are free, for example, to think the moral of this story is: once a rat, always a rat.
Tamara
Job You Want Is on the Other Side of the Work You Are Avoiding
Job You Want Is on the Other
Side of the Work You Are Avoiding
By Nick Kossovan
"The life you want is in the work you're avoiding," - Sahil Bloom, American writer.
Bloom's words hit because they're true.
During my early adult years, I was eager to find shortcuts. As I matured and shed my sense of entitlement, while observing those who achieved the success I aspired to, I realized that I could only attain the fulfillment, success, and personal growth I sought by confronting and completing the difficult or uncomfortable tasks I'd been avoiding.
Landing a job in today's highly competitive job market requires more than just talking about it, which is all many job seekers do; you need to do the work you're avoiding. Now more than ever, you have to roll up your sleeves and tackle the unglamorous tasks that'll benefit your job search.
The Habit of Networking
The importance of networking can't be overstated. As I've mentioned in past columns, right now, there are job opportunities all around you. The catch: they're connected to people; therefore, start talking to people! Learn to initiate meaningful conversations. The best networking tip I know is to ask yourself, "How can I help this person?" when you meet someone for the first time. Who can you introduce them to? What can you suggest? What can you offer in terms of sharing knowledge, expertise, or 'tricks of the trade'?
Applying to online job postings is essentially gambling; you're depending on a stranger to hire you. Yes, strangers do get hired; however, they aren't hired as frequently as those who are known to employers and recruiters. Networking builds familiarity, which recruiters and hiring managers rightfully believe mitigates hiring risks.
Indeed, cultivating a professional network can be uncomfortable, and rejection is inevitable. Networking is most effective for people who already have established connections or strong social skills; thus, identifying two actions you should take if you're committed to your job search and career management.
1. If you are currently employed, start building and maintaining a professional network. Networking only when you need a job is asking a stranger for a favour, which you're not entitled to, and often comes across as begging.
2. Develop your social skills, which'll serve you well in both your professional and personal life. Hiding behind the limiting belief that you're an "introvert" does you a huge disservice. We live in a world built by extroverts for extroverts; therefore, you need to adapt to this reality, as it won't adapt to you.
Four books that'll level up your social skills:
1. How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie (If you only read one book, read this one. It's foundational and covers all the essential social skills that are crucial to becoming socially adept.)
2. How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People, by Les Giblin
3. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
4. The Laws of Human Nature, by Robert Greene
Optimizing Your LinkedIn Profile
Your LinkedIn profile is active 24/7/365. In contrast, your resume only makes an impression when someone looks at it—likely just a quick glance—making your LinkedIn profile more influential in your job search than your resume. Yet, many job seekers avoid fully optimizing what is essentially their digital handshake and naively believe their subpar profile isn't hindering their job search, or, with many feeling entitled, think it shouldn't be.
Spend a day with your LinkedIn profile and nail down the following:
· Professional Photo: A high-quality headshot where you look approachable (smiling helps).
· Background Image: A custom background image that reinforces who you are and what you do.
· Keyword-Rich Headline: Use the 220 characters to highlight your expertise, unique value, and the problems you solve.
· Story-Driven "About" Section (Summary): Write in the first person and share your professional journey, motivations, and skills through a compelling story.
· Detailed Experience Sections: Use bullet points to highlight your achievements and outcomes in each role. (Simply listing your duties doesn't demonstrate your value.) Include links to projects, presentations, or publications to create a visual portfolio of your work.
· Relevant Skills & Endorsements: List at least 10 relevant hard and soft skills, prioritizing the top three as the most important.
· Recommendations: Ask current and former colleagues, managers, and clients for testimonials to show social proof of your work ethic and skills.
· Customized URL: Customize your LinkedIn URL to boost visibility, appear more professional, and strengthen your online presence. (e.g., https://www.linkedin.com/in/nickkossovan).
· Completed Profile: Complete all relevant sections, including education, licenses, and certifications, to enhance your profile's visibility in searches.
Boosting Your Visibility
The job market isn't a contest of experience and skills; it's a contest for attention.
You're invisible if:
· You're not active on LinkedIn.
· Your resume is generic.
· You don't follow up.
· You don't show your personality.
You don't attract attention by remaining in the background. You attract attention by being noticed, so:
· Post and comment confidently, with conviction.
· Message with assertiveness.
· Follow up with purpose.
· Broadcast what your value add (read: show evidence) would be to an employer.
When you avoid doing the necessary work required for a successful job search, you surrender the right to expect results. The job you want is on the other side of networking, LinkedIn profile optimization, and increasing your visibility.
The Wonder in Adulthood
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