SWEET BITTER REALITY

By Joe Ingino Editor/Publisher It breaks my heart to drive by Memorial Park and witness all the homeless sleeping along door ways and in the park. The other day I decided to pull over sit on one of the benches and just watch. One particular man caught my attention. A male in his 50’s. Sitting there rocking back and forth. As I looked at him, I could not help mentally become him. I pictured in my mind sitting there cold, hungry with no place to go. My body aches from sleeping on the floor or behind dumpster. I once had a home a family. Time slowly took that away from me. The economy forced me to foreclose. My wife left me. My kids live far away. I sit here all alone. No one to turn too. The only thing I have left are my memories. Memories of a loving mother and father. Memory of my wife and her gentle touch... the smile of my children as I came back from work. The joy I felt when we were a family. Watching them grow up only to leave me to start their own lives. My heart aches as once I was everyone’s crutch and rock. Today I am nothing but an old man. Broke, with no place to go. I wonder where my next meal will come from. I go to the local food bank and the local kitchen. Even though they are nice there. The smells, the people make it hard at times to enjoy the food even though I am starving. I see how people look at me sitting here. Thinking what a bum. As probably did when I had a home and family. As I look back. I can’t help to notice them in me. As anyone can become me. I do not want to on the street. I tried applying for menial jobs. I have no phone. No home. Hard for employees to get back to me. I know I have rags for clothing and I smell from being outdoors all the time. My Canada has become a harsh place to live. I seen people relieving themselves at the park. I see how people stare. As this even disgusts me. I can appreciate that when you are on the street. We don’t have a bathroom we can just walk in. In most cases I try to use a restaurant bathroom only to be kicked out. I tried going at the City Hall. Only to be tossed out. My life has no value. I can understand the many around me hooked on drugs. Specially the younger ones. There is nothing for them on the street. Except loneliness and despair. I don’t know what my future will bring. All, I know is that I am surviving from day to day. Life is hard. I never thought it would get this bad. Even in the worst of times. I never experienced such loneliness. I feel like an animal trapped in a human body. At the least with an animal they round you up and put you to sleep. The many shelters are not sufficient in getting people like me off the streets. My mind is slowly going as my fears wether real of my mind tricking me are becoming more intense. I need help to get me back on track. I want my life back. I want a second chance. I feel as my government has let me down. After all the years of paying taxes. For what? Festive seasons come and go. I sit here watching it all pass by. Easter is a time to enjoy a sweet in the name of a holiday. Remember while you enjoy a sweet. I be out here enjoying a sweet - bitter realty that could happen to all of us.