Looking for Loopholes

 Direct Answers
from Wayne & Tamara

Looking for Loopholes
Q My boyfriend and I had a great start to our relationship. We were medical students then. We trusted each other and were both clear that cheating is a dealbreaker for us.
     When we moved to different cities to start our specialty training, we saw each other less. Things got busier but we tried working things out, always thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel. Nonetheless, we felt really happy once we met.
     Two years ago, someone anonymously messaged me on a networking site saying my boyfriend was seeing someone else. There was no evidence, but I immediately called him and he denied it.
     One day, I went into paranoid mode and checked his phone while he was asleep. I saw flirty messages. The next morning I confronted him and asked who she was. He said they were coworkers and friends, and he was just helping her review. That was our first big argument.  Of course, I believed him. We even got engaged last year!
     Fast forward to three months before our wedding. Another person messaged me, this time with proof! Turns out, their relationship became physical both before and after he proposed to me.
     Bit by bit, he told me the truth. He admitted they were friends, part of a group who went out together and reviewed in his apartment, until the two of them were left alone. But he never once mentioned this group of friends to me. He said he was afraid I wouldn’t give my permission to hang out with them.
     He said the girl made a move and kissed him first, and his lust took over. After that, they had sex for a few more meetings until he realized what they were doing was wrong. He claims he ended it with the other woman three months ago and was going to tell me.
     My life crumbled. The person I thought I knew best and trusted most, suddenly became a stranger. We broke up and our wedding was canceled.
     A month and a half after D-day, we still communicate. He’s remorseful and readily answers my calls, even though he knows I just want answers.
     I will be flying to another country for 18 months of further training, while he’ll be staying in our home country for his training. He says he’ll fly to see me once he’s done and court me again. He says I’m the person he wants to live with in this lifetime.
     Can a person really change? Will I be able to get past this feeling of betrayal?
Heidi

A Heidi, a loophole is defined as an exemption that can be used to avoid the effect of a law. You and your boyfriend are both looking for a loophole.
     In this case, the law you want to avoid is a law of human nature.
     Your boyfriend’s first line of defense was to lie. His second line of defense was to blame you. (You wouldn’t approve of his group.) His third line of defense was to blame the other woman. (She started it.)
     If you stay with him, his final defense will be, “It couldn’t have been all that bad because Heidi stayed.”
     Of course it isn’t all that bad to him. He’s not the one betrayed. Proceeding as before is what a cheater wants because they are not the injured party. But if you had cheated on him, would he be so lenient on you? Of course not.
     His excuses are the archetypal responses of a cheater who is caught. It’s the classic pattern, but because you haven’t been through this before, you don’t recognize the pattern. Still, your gut told you to cancel the wedding.
     When he blamed the other woman, he admitted he can “fall prey” to any other woman. In trying to wriggle off the hook, he set the hook. He admitted, “I cannot control myself and you cannot trust me.”
     You were not paranoid when you checked his phone. You smelled gas and looked for the leak. That’s realism, not paranoia.
     Perhaps you’ve had to explain to a patient that they have a terminal disease. Now you’re on the other side of that. You must face that your relationship with this man is terminal.
    Reactions to cheating—the disgust, the outrage at the unfairness, the suspicion, the traumatic response—are not something a skillful counselor can talk you out of. They are part of your human nature.
     Counseling can be helpful in many areas, but it cannot overcome the basic needs built into us for trust, for justice, and for love.
     In a marriage, there can be no loopholes. Why? Because with people who belong together, none are needed.
 Wayne & Tamara  

write:  Directanswers@WayneAndTamara.com

PULLING OUT BY BEING PULLED IN

By Joe Ingino Editor/Publisher “I live a dream in a nightmare world” Pulling out in most cases would save you a lifetime of regret. Ok, stop smirking if you get what I mean. Looking at the Afghanistan disaster. One can appreciate the concept of pulling out at the right time for the right reason. If you don’t you are literately f&#ked. In the case of Biden without much thought of what he was doing. His pull out seems to only be pulling him back in. Trump had the right idea. The Taliban beast had been beaten and oppressed. The deal was if the Taliban would honor the government the United States put in, that in return the U.S. would pull out. It makes sense. After all if they pulled out and the government in place called on the American’s... The U.S. would return at a heart beat. Unfortunately, Trump lost the election and all that the Taliban heard was pull out. Under Trump made economic sense. Why spend all the resources the U.S. had wasted for 20 years. After all the Taliban had been written off. Biden should have had the aptitude to at the least realize the benefit of the deal under Trump. Instead Biden politicized the pull out. On a stubborn date without much thinking about the logistics. I am no expert in strategics... but would it not made sense to pull out key perssonell while the U.S. troops were on the ground. Why clear out the country of essential troops. Then start the airlift, knowing that the Taliban was gaining ground right across the land. Ok, fine I give you that no one in the Biden administration would have ever dreamed that the Taliban would come back so fast and so strong. Today we are facing a dilemma. People are being killed by the hour. People are suffering and no one is reporting. The Taliban will soon start killing Americans. So now what is America to do? In my opinion they will be forced to go back in. The only problem. No one will help them or assist them as they will be seen as a people that turned their back on the population. The Afghany people will fight shoulder to shoulder with the Taliban to fight the invading armies of the world. As of now the Taliban won the war. There is no other way of looking at it. It took the allies 20 years to oppress the Taliban. For the Taliban to only take it back in 10 days.... I have a more profound question. What was Canada doing in Afghanistan? I feel for all those families that lost a loved on in this so called war. We exposed our military to dangers for no Canadian gain. The government should be held accountable and responsible. No instead they fill air-craft with more foreigners and dump them on Canadian soil. Foreigners that in many cases do not speak English nor have the education to be contributing entities to Canadian way of life. I remember when I came to Canada from Uruguay. During Pierre era. We had to show professional status, immunization, health card and inspection, proof of language and desire to fit in by having a Canadian sponsor welcome our family to live with them. We did not want social assistance. We wanted to jump in and work. We wanted to go to school to learn Canadian customs and cultures and not impose our ideologies, belief and customs on any one. As a matter of fact. I remember working hard to shed accent, dress and even hair style. I remember the first day at a Canadian school. My mother put on a suit and tie on me. I was only 11 years old. I showed up at the school and boy did I learn fast that this was not Kansas any more. We need to think of Canadian interest first. Everyone else second. Let’s learn from our mistakes and not get suckered in once again.

Afghanistan the new Vietnam

Afghanistan the new Vietnam by Maj (ret'd) CORNELIU E. CHISU, CD, PMSC, FEC, CET, P. Eng. Former Member of Parliament Pickering-Scarborough East It seems that we have learned nothing from the past. The quick failure of Afghanistan is a repeat of the failure of the intervention in Vietnam. On April 29 1975 the evacuation of Saigon was very similar to the evacuation of Kabul in August 2021. After almost a half century and two generations, we are getting the same result. The problem in Afghanistan started with the Soviet invasion on Christmas day in 1979 and ended in mid February 1989 with the withdrawal of the Soviet troops. The Soviet Union intervened in support of the Afghan communist government in its conflict with anti-communist Muslim guerrillas. The aim of the Soviet operation was to prop up their new but faltering client state, headed by leader Babrak Karmal. However, Karmal was unable to attain significant popular support. Backed by the United States, the mujahideen rebellion grew, spreading to all parts of the country. The Soviets initially left the suppression of the rebellion to the Afghan army, but the latter was beset by mass desertions and remained largely ineffective throughout the war. The Afghan War quickly settled down into a stalemate, with more than 100,000 Soviet troops controlling the cities, larger towns, and major garrisons and the mujahideen moving with relative freedom throughout the countryside. Soviet troops tried to crush the insurgency by various tactics, but the guerrillas generally eluded their attacks. The Soviets then attempted to eliminate the mujahideen's civilian support by bombing and depopulating the rural areas. These tactics sparked a massive flight from the countryside; by 1982 some 2.8 million Afghans had sought asylum in Pakistan, and another 1.5 million had fled to Iran. The mujahideen were eventually able to neutralize Soviet air power through the use of shoulder-fired antiaircraft missiles supplied by the Soviet Union's Cold War adversary, the United States. Now back to the future. In 2021, after a presence for 20 years of US lead NATO troops including our Canadian Forces, the result is the same as the Soviets then experienced. The quick disintegration of the Afghan Army supposedly trained by the US and its NATO allies is the failure of an intervention ill conceived and ill managed with lives and resources lost to a cause that was unclear from the beginning. Saigon 1975 (United States), Kabul 1989 (Soviets), Kabul 2021 (US and NATO) seems that something went wrong in that part of the world and that the leaders of the western world just gloriously ignored the lessons of history. No one thought in 2021 that by mid-August the Taliban would be in Kabul. The Taliban's ability to link their cause to the very meaning of being Afghan, was a crucial factor in America's defeat. For Afghans, jihad, better translated as "resistance" or "struggle", has historically been a means of defense against oppression by outsiders, part of their endurance against invader after invader since the time of Alexander the Great. In more recent times, they have first exhausted, then repelled the British, the Soviets and now the Americans. The 'forever war' for Americans was also a long war for Canadians. Never mind that apparently the NATO decision to invoke, for the first time, the collective security provisions of Article Five - that an attack on one is an attack on all - was the initiative of then Canadian NATO ambassador David Wright. That decision launched the US-led NATO intervention that is only now concluding in a controlled disaster. As a result, more than 40,000 Canadian soldiers served in Afghanistan including myself in 2007, with 158 killed between 2001 and 2014. More came home injured or psychologically wounded, and the Canadian Armed Forces reported that as a follow up 191 veterans have taken their own lives since 2011. It is a sad story for generations of Afghani people and a sad result of the Canadian efforts to try to build a responsible society. The Afghan experience is a cautionary tale for future Canadian interventions. The western experience in Afghanistan will oblige policy-makers to think hard about future interventions. Without an appreciation of the history, culture, geography and local politics, we may win battles but we lose the war. As the evacuation of Afghani who worked and supported the Canadian Forces continue at this moment it is a time to reflect. Unlike during the Cold War when Canada was a leading middle power within one of two bounded geopolitical blocs, today it faces the prospect of becoming a marginal state in an integrated - yet pluralistic - international order of global scope. The new era and the rapidly evolving world calls for a Canadian foreign policy that requires a drastic change in attitude. We need to embrace pragmatism over ideology, and strategic thinking over the endless invocation of platitudes. Canada's second consecutive failure in our bid for a UN Security Council seat should make us rethink the notion that the world cares at all about who we are. We need to have qualified people in leadership positions, be proactive internationally, regain the edge we have lost in science and technology and develop expertise in diplomacy. It is time to start the Great Canadian Awakening both domestically and internationally!

Hey where are we going with this!

hey where are we going with this!

By Rosaldo Russo Allow me to introduce begin this column by thanking the newspaper for allowing me the opportunity and access to the press. Not to many if any allow an average person like me to tell the world what I see and think. My name is Rosaldo Russo. I came to this great country to make a better life for myself and my family. I thank Canada for everything it has allowed me to do. I worked construction all my life. I know the value of hard work and honesty. I remember as a boy my father always telling me to work hard and buy land. I remember days when I did not have enough to eat or go to work... but I did not wait for hand outs. I rounded up my pride my skill and my determination to succeed and went to work. In those days the only benefits we received was the fact we were employed. Before retiring I was the owner and operator of local material supply company that allowed me to retired without worry. Now that I have time to enjoy life. I look around me and have some concern for future generations. I see that the world is finished. Opportunities for our youth are hard and few. The type of hard work I use to put in is hard to see. It appears we all have become robots of a system that does not appreciate honesty and hard work. I remember my motto when it came to my customers. Customer satisfaction comes first. I made millions of the fact that I treated my clients with respect and courtesy. It appears that in today’s world. Customer satisfaction is gone. Look at anyone doing business with companies like Bell or Rogers. They are not about customer satisfaction and or service. These giants treat their customers like cattle. A number in a sea of millions. You do as they say or they cut you off. Where are we going here... How can this happen. I tell you how it is happening. We Canadian people have no choice. When we allow this giants to not fear loss of clients. They treat us like cattle. Their meaning of convenience cost us. They want to get paid at a particular date and in particular way. No credit card. No service. Mis a payment. You get cut off. How dot these companies stay in business. Come on people. Wake up. Unfortunately we can’t do nothing about it as there is no other choice. What is happening to our Canada that we allow these giants to openly rape us? If anything they should be charged for false advertising as they claim 1G speeds and no one gets them. Or 1000 channels that are all repetitive.

A Hostage Situation

from Wayne & Tamara

Q My husband applied for a job behind my back and accepted the job without my consent. He convinced me, if I came with him, it would only be for a year. He moved my son and me from sunny Southern California to freezing North Dakota. The year came and went. We renegotiated a three-year stay for economic reasons, then had a second son. Well, that temporary stay came and went, and now it’s been seven long, cold years! I’ve tried to be patient, but I can’t stand these nine-month winters anymore! He says he wants to continue to live here until the economy gets better back home, which will not likely happen for at least three or four more years. Ugh! In order to stay home with my children, I have not been working. But now that my youngest is ready for kindergarten, I’ve asked my husband if I could seek a job to help us relocate. He says no, because I can’t make as much money as he can. He has an IT degree, and in my field I can only make half what he does. It gets worse. He suffers from anxiety, so he has more fear than the average person. He has opened a separate bank account in his name in order to keep me from accessing our money. He puts $900 a month in our joint account for me to buy food and other needs. He then doles out food money to buy more groceries the second half of the month. I’ve told him I dislike how he has set up our money and that the control is unfair. For a year he’s claimed he will add my name to the second account, but he has not done so. He is a conflict avoider, who tells me what I want to hear or tells me “this is not a good time” to discuss matters. We have absolutely no family close by. I’m neglected emotionally, financially, and spiritually. I take my boys to church and attend weekly Bible study in order to have some friends and support. But my patience has run out. I told him the boys and I are going home to my parents to spend time with my family. What he doesn’t know is I’m going to pursue employment, and, if I succeed, get an apartment and live there with my children. I will offer to let him join us and sell our North Dakota home so we can restart in California. Or he can visit us all he can. As it is, he is already in an uproar over me wanting to visit. If it weren’t for our boys, I would never have come here. I was trying to keep the family together. Harper A Harper, doling out money and making major decisions without your consent makes you less a wife and more an indentured servant. Your position in the family is the same as your children. Powerless. Your husband has clipped your wings to keep you from flying away, and the more you telegraph your feelings, the more he will tighten his grasp. He’s decided you aren’t leaving, but he isn’t saying that. Instead, he “tells me what I want to hear,” which is an interesting euphemism for lying. Whether he has anxiety issues or not doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have the right to take your life away from you. Whether you admit it to yourself or not, this marriage may be over. You devised a plan. You thought it was fair. He did these things to me, I get to do this one thing to him. But you must consider the legal implications. Before you do anything, privately and without your husband’s knowledge, see a lawyer to sort out custody issues. You may need to have your parents pay for the attorney or even go to another town to ensure your visit is confidential. In addition, your husband is in IT. Nearly everything you do on your home computer or phone is recoverable by someone with sophisticated knowledge. Take steps to make sure all your communications remain private. If you are worried about his reaction (and you should be), you need to be very cautious about your safety and the safety of your children. Believing you can only leave him surreptitiously means you know he could be dangerous. A lawyer can advise you here as well. You are not the proverbial bird in a gilded cage. You are a bird in a cage of ice—emotionally, financially, and spiritually. You need two plans, one legal and one for safety. Once you have them, the next step will emerge. Wayne & Tamara Wayne & Tamara write: Directanswers@WayneAndTamara.com

Keep Blood Pressure Under Control

  Keep Blood Pressure Under Control
 W. Gifford-Jones, M.D. and Diana Gifford-Jones
          Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You must do the things you think you cannot do.” Avoiding disease may be the gift of lucky genetics, but it helps to put some work into managing your chances for health and longevity.
Maintaining rubbery arteries is key to the delivery of oxygenated blood to the heart’s muscle that guards against hypertension, stroke, and heart attack. A report in the Journal of the American Medical Association says that what’s good for the heart may also be good for the brain.
The study involved 9,300 people ages, 50 and older with an average age of 68, with hypertension. They also had one other cardiovascular risk factor, history of stroke, or dementia. It was a huge study involving patients in over 100 carefully supervised medical centers across the U.S.

Half of the patients were provided “Gold Standard” care. This meant they were given medication that lowered their systolic blood pressure (the top number), to less than 120. The other half simply aimed for the standard systolic target of 140 or lower.
What happened? When a study shows after a period that one group is getting the raw end of the deal, it must be stopped for ethical reasons. So, when the gold standard group was winning after a period of three years, the study abruptly ended.
The gold standard of treatment had reduced cardiovascular problems and death by 25 percent. But the study ignited the still on-going debate as to whether normal blood pressure level should be changed from 140/80 to 130/80.
There was another effect. Researchers wondered if a lowering of blood pressure in the gold standard group would have any effect on the risk for dementia. So they followed these two groups further to see if changes in blood pressure had any effect on brain function.
The result? After another two years, researchers found no statistical difference in the amount of “probable dementia” between the two groups. But they did notice a 19 percent lower rate of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) in the gold standard group.
MCI is a gray, undefinable area between normal brain function and early dementia. Looking at it another way, 287 of the 4,280 patients in the gold group and 353 of the same number in the standard group, developed MCI over a five-year period. Not a huge difference, but big enough to warrant notice.

Researchers stressed that, although some cases of MCI go on to develop dementia, many others go for years without any problems. Some patients even revert to normal.
So what’s the bottom line? Good sense dictates that controlling hypertension is a sound measure for the brain, but lowering it too much can cause hypotension (low blood pressure), fainting and possible kidney injury. In effect, in the real world, trying to obtain the perfect blood pressure can be questionable.

Researchers say the best option for brain health is to stay physically active and maintain a sense of purpose in life. This is always good for the brain. Weight control, particularly in the abdomen, is essential, as it’s linked to dementia. But since obesity is so often associated with Type 2 diabetes, hypertension and dementia, it’s difficult to know which is the main culprit.
Since Type 2 diabetes narrows cerebral arteries and decreases oxygenated blood to the brain, this along with hypertension, is a bad combination.

Take Eleanor Roosevelt’s sage advice to heart. You need more than luck to avoid these two killers. Rather, your diet and lifestyle may need to undergo dramatic changes.

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WORTHLESS WORDS

WORTHLESS WORDS

By Joe Ingino

Editor/Publisher

“I live a dream in a nightmare world”

What is happening across the world? What an exciting and yet concerning times we are living through. Believe me I have heard this cry before.... Change is good. The future holds only one end and so on and so on. Depending on who you are talking with the outcome becomes more doom and gloom.

In reality our educational systems are making us more aware of our environments. Educating us on things that in the past we were ignorant of even having a thought about. It appears we are all experts in our own fields. To me our educational systems compounded with high tech. We are producing specialist instead of free thinkers. We are creating a social culture based on perceptual norms and not facts.

The rule of thumb appears to be, that the more people you can sway to believe a particular thought... That thought becomes reality. Even though irrational.

Take for example language.... All languages suffer from the same. We today are communicating at a much higher awareness level then ever before.

Take for example simple words like ‘LOVE’. If this basic common word can have so many uses and make so much impact on the human profile. Imagine words like Democracy, Equality.

Language in modern society is being used as a weapon to control the masses. Historically, governments and the church had that domain monopolized as one the other could not exists.

Our laws and our social/civic principles are all rooted in the 10 commandments. God is used as tool to force conformity amongst the masses. After all who wants to end up in Hell.

Unfortunately that card has been played once to many times and the game has been exposed to be nothing short of a words switch and bait type of card game.

People are today bringing to light the validity of the word of God. They question and defy law in the name of a right that in reality they do not have but have been fed the line that they do.

Our rights and freedoms are not mandated by anyone. No place does it say that this is a human right other than man saying so.

In reality we are nothing but animals. The human race. Governed by basic instincts and drives.

What is the difference between a drive and an instinct? As nouns the difference between drive and instinct is that drive is (senseid)self-motivation; ability coupled with ambition while instinct is a natural or inherent impulse or behaviour. Are these not what religion and government so tailored their laws and norms around. They like to give us the impression that we have the right while at the same time oppressing our natural impulse and keep us civil?

What is Freud's instinct theory?

Definition: Instinct. INSTINCT. A pre-lingual bodily impulse that drives our actions. Freud makes a distinction between instinct and the antithesis, conscious/unconscious; an instinct is pre-lingual and, so, can only be accessed by language, by an idea that represents the instinct.

Sigmund Freud, 1891. Freud, early in his studies, took the biological view that there are two basic instinctive forces governing life: self-preservation and reproduction.What is the flaw of instinct theory?

What is the flaw in instinct theory? Instincts don't explain behavior; they simply label it. Drive Reduction theory. A theory that states that some physiological need occurs that creates a state of tension which in turn motivates you to reduce the tension or satisfy the need.

If this stands true. Modern day norms can be said to be manipulated by the media and high tech. Could it be that world governments turn to the media in order to cast sublime messages of compliance in the future. But wait. Places like CNN and FOX are they not already doing this. God is being removed from most of society as any trace of history. Governments are still pushing the national pride line only to be denounced.

How is democracy to survive when love between man kind can’t be accomplished. Does this mean that we are looking at a world of misinformation or tailored information enforced by force disguised as law?

Wait in part it is today. Will the message remain the same. Just the delivery method change?

I remember growing up hearing of the many evil that the future would bring. From the end of time as the clock clicked midnight in 1999 to 2000 to the many religious devoted calling on followers to prepare in 2012.

The reality of existence is not based on events. I believe that our destiny has been predestined by our existence.

We are nothing but part of something much bigger.

We the human race create all these system to survive. To thrive in an environment that has limitation and an expiry date.

Much like our own lives. Many make it to 80. Not realizing that we sleep 40 of those years in the name of rest/health.

We communicate in part to oppress our rooted drives and instincts.

We go around professing based on confused opinion.

Even those that swear by science only to be proven to fault in their method.

I think the best thing we can take from life, society is fact that we are on this planet for a short time and during that time we must enjoy and live every moment as if it was our last.

Achieve and believe that you are not the one that is important. Your contributions to humanity are. Your compassion and understanding in the enlightenment of understanding who you really are. Worthless words or are they?

BEND OVER TAKE IN THE ASS AND LIKE IT

 

BEND OVER TAKE IN THE ASS AND LIKE IT
By Joe Ingino
Editor/Publisher

“I live a dream in a nightmare world”   

    As a child I remember how much I hated going to the doctor.   As a kid you only went there for a vaccination or a minor check up.   On the first, I remember him lowering my pants and before I knew it.  Boom he had pricked me with a needle on my ass cheek.
  I had no choice.  I was more worried about the fact that my genitalia was exposed then anything else.... Meanwhile I was getting pricked in the name of public health.   My mom would always kiss me in the forehead to comfort me as she slipped me a candy as a treat for being a good boy.
  In modern society it appears the same principles are being employed by the government.   They take us to a place out of fear.  In the name of public health.  Then without really having much choice prick us with a vaccine that in my opinion has not fully been studied or understood.  All they tell us is that it has shown in some fictitious study to have an affect on a virus that even today we(governments) of the world have no clue what it truly is.   
We have an idea.  But no one can without a doubt clearly say they know what this virus is doing across the planet.
   Could this be what they mean by ‘the writing on the wall’.   Could it be that out of our own ignorance we are entrusting governments.  Governments that go on a hit and miss agenda and not on what is best for the people they represent.
   They say that Russians are the most upfront people.  The people with the most real choices.  A people with true freedom.  I say this because as free and democratic the Russian may be.  They are only given one choice.   Therefore the choice is always right and easy.  This mentality appears to be what our so called ‘FREE AND DEMOCRATIC’ nations of the world are employing.
   I say this because it appears that governments across the globe without fully understanding the choice.  Taken choice from their citizens by creating a sublime hysteria over what they perceive to be the magic shield against COVID.   Only to be exposed for their ignorance of the truth by variants of COVID.
   You can’t blame the politicians.  They are flags in the wind of an agenda that is way beyond their intellect and understanding.  
Much like me taking it in the ass.  We are all taking it in the ass and forced to like it.
Just this week.  Some brilliant mind in government decided to put the idiotic idea in the arena of public ignorance, that somehow governments have given themselves the power to pass vaccination passports.   Not only that.   The same brilliant minds put the seed of ignorance amongst public opinionatos that it is OK to refuse services, entry and or opportunity based on vaccination choice.
This is in part sparking the debate over forced vaccination in general.   As it stands if you are not vaccinated for some disease you can be banned from schools and the like.  So why is it that the COVID vaccination has such an opposition?   Simple.  The COVID vaccine is to new and a fallacy.  We must not trust science but depend on it’s byproducts.  We must not enforce compliance but instead promote civil duty, free will and choice.  As a society we have given up common sense.  Basic human decency and for that we are being oppressed by laws and social pressure to comply.   Vaccines that have a solid proven record are obviously good.  Vaccines that are put forth in urgency to attempt to calm and unknown is wrong as it is not logical.  People  lets use common sense.  Let’s stop taking it in the ass in the name that science knows best.
Let’s first completely understand the source then let science find a logical solution that is reasonable and true.  Humanity will never move forward blinded by ignorance.  Open your eyes.

Dollars and Sense

 

Dollars and Sense

Q What advice would you have for a retired couple who twice came to the financial aid of their adult son? The first time he was laid off and unable to make payments. The second time he racked up another bill, could not make payments, and came to us after a court date was announced. He is married with three children. I would never have thought he would take money and just stop making payments, after making just two. This situation has totally wrecked our relationship. Now we don’t speak or communicate at all. Because we trusted him 100%, the loan was done with no more than a handshake and a promise of regular payments each month. The money amounts to a little over $12,000, and we can make it either way. It’s more that he has broken his word to us. That hurts more than the money. I have a feeling he has more bills and the biggest problem is his wife. For some reason, she never warmed up to us. I will put it this way. Several times since they married there have been run-ins, most often because of something taken wrong in a conversation. But we have never intentionally said or done anything to cause distress or harm. If something could be taken wrong, that’s how she takes it.

The last time I spoke to my son, he thought his wife was making monthly $250.00 payments to us, and I had to inform him it was simply not true. I made him promise to speak with his wife and call me back. I have not heard from him since. We are far from perfect, but we always try to do what is right. If I ever get to the point when I feel there is nothing to lose, I might take him to small claims court. I don’t believe he is happy about this situation. He twice needed money, and both times we were there for him. He also knows that both times he gave his word to make good on the debt. I guess he will have to live with that every time he looks in the mirror. Most of all, I hate not seeing our grandson, and I fear that isn’t going to change. I’m sorry for dumping my troubles on your lap. Royce

A Royce, an old nursery rhyme says, “Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater had a wife but couldn’t keep her.” Your son may have a wife he can’t keep because he doesn’t have enough money to satisfy her. But he wants to keep her, even to the point of damaging his relationship with you.

He thought she was making payments to you, but she wasn’t. Our surmise is that your son is in worse financial shape than you know.

Perhaps his wife’s dream of white picket fences must be fulfilled without regard to their income. Perhaps she handles the money in order to conceal things from her husband. Perhaps she causes problems because she is the problem. Our suggestion is this. Do not go to court. You don’t want to alienate your son. Also, don’t lend him any more money. We suspect your son didn’t call you back because there was nothing he could say. “We don’t have the money. My wife lied to me. I don’t know what to do.” But he can’t make himself say that. He may be too embarrassed to talk to you because he finds the problem insoluble.

For now, leave the ball in his court. Behave normally. Send the normal birthday cards and gifts. Make customary plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Remain open so that he can come to you in every way but financially, and cut your losses at $12,000. If they go into bankruptcy, they go into bankruptcy. Some parents lose a son to illness, some to an accident, some to a wife. Growing up it appears you had a good relationship with your son. Now he must grow up a little more and learn to deal with money, and his wife, in a realistic way. The wisest course is to be open to him, if and when he comes to understand that.

Wayne & Tamara write: Directanswers@WayneAndTamara.com

MICRO SOLUTION TO A MACRO PROBLEM

 MICRO SOLUTION TO A
MACRO PROBLEM
By Joe Ingino
Editor/Publisher

“I live a dream in a nightmare world”   

    Why is it that it appears that  our elected official will not do something without some sort of political gain.    This week The Region of Durham is partnering with Lakeridge Health, Ontario Tech University and Durham College on the Oshawa Micro-Housing Pilot Project.
  A 10 modular home complex smack in an already economically depressed area of Oshawa.   Does that sound to you like good planning.  It is obvious that in Oshawa we have a huge homeless problem. Not to mention all the folks living on the edge of economic bankruptcy as they can’t afford the exuberant rents landlords are asking now a day.
  The attempt to find a solution is nothing short of an insult to those that need homes now.  To me this is nothing but yet another attempt by the University to use the people of Oshawa for their benefit.
Durham Regional Chair John Henry says the partnership between the region and Lakeridge Health, Ontario Tech University and Durham College will support the success of the Oshawa Micro-Housing Pilot Project by ensuring participants have access to the supports and services they may need.
“No one should get left behind or fall through the cracks, and, by working collaboratively with our community partners, we can end chronic homelessness in Durham Region,” says Henry.
  He has to be kidding.   ‘NO ONE SHOULD BE LEFT BEHIND’.  Really.   So with 10 modules you will serve the need of the homeless?
When the need is 1000 time more to say the least... but wait let’s let the good self appointed academia treat our people like ginea pigs in order to extract research grants from the Feds.  
This insane micro solution does not even come close to alleviating the real Macro problem we are facing in Oshawa.   
The evaluation plan will be led by Dr. Tyler Frederick, associate professor at Ontario Tech University, who is partnering with the region in-kind to develop this plan and apply for research funding.
Here is the truth.  This is not about the poor of Oshawa. This is not about the homeless.  This is about the OTU looking for ways to bleed the government for grants.
  This is what I would do.  First we have to assure that whatever we do.  We do it with the notion of maintaining the integrity of the area and the property values around it.  I propose we take back our lands that GM claims to be theirs.   DID YOU KNOW THAT THE GM LANDS ARE THAT OF THE PEOPLE OF OSHAWA.   THE DEAL WAS THAT FOR AS LONG AS GM PRODUCED CARS.  THEY HAD A ONE DOLLAR A YEAR LEASE AS THE PROPERTIES WERE GIVEN TO THE CITY BY MCLAUGHLIN.   With this said. I as your City Mayor would take back the lands from GM.   Primarily the GM pain line.   Turn that whole area into 20-30 level complex and offer them scheduled rental amounts.  This eliminating the treatment of less fortunate as second class citizens.  Take the rent right out of their social service cheques.   Offer the opportunity to dig themselves out of poverty by helping them secure a proper way of living.  Standards would be set in order to assure the property would be kept up.  The current security force the City employ would be used to assure safety and security.  Those suffering from addiction or mental health issues would become by mandate awards of the hospital until such time as the hospital would take liability in the event of an episode at the stated facility.  As it stands... sure the hospital the university will partner up... they have nothing to loose and all to gain.  This Micro solution is an insult to those suffering the real Macro problem.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE ELECTIONS

 TO BE OR NOT TO BE ELECTIONS
    by Maj (ret'd) CORNELIU E. CHISU, CD, PMSC,
FEC, CET, P. Eng.
Former Member of Parliament
Pickering-Scarborough East

With political parties itching for an early election, the question is whether an election at this point will warrant the attention of the people. With the Covid pandemic in recess, Canadians are starting to focus on the recovery of the economic.
However, many factors beside political ambitions are in place, which will determine the call for elections sooner or later. Indicators are strong, now that Canada has a Governor General and the minority government is starting to believe strongly that that they might have a good chance of getting a majority. Supported by the Conservative opposition's lack of ideas and the NDP's further drift to the left, an early election call is very close to reality. Pollsters say there is a window this fall in which the Liberals could win a majority, as Canadians embrace the freedom of being vaccinated and the latest budget injects billions of dollars into the economy.
Of course the timing of the election is important, since the pandemic seems to be a highlight in the Liberal government's performance in the eyes of Canadians who are now naturally starting to shift their focus towards economic recovery. In fact, attention shifting to the economy will not favor the governing Liberals who have spent, and continue to spend recklessly. So the window for an election favorable for them seems to be now rather than later.
Earlier this month the Bank of Canada also painted an optimistic picture of growth heading into the second half of the year, before the economic storm which is bound to come, will hit.
Another potential source of trouble is that with cold weather approaching, instead of fading from peoples' minds, COVID-19 will come roaring back as more contagious virus variants spread.
This is happening in the United States and elsewhere.
Despite the variety of issues on the carpet, the ultimate decision to ask the Governor General for an early election will be with the Prime Minister. How this will play out remains to be seen. The long-standing tradition of the Governor General acceding to Canadian Prime Ministers' requests to dissolve Parliament will practically push Mary Simon to accept a plea from Justin Trudeau to call an election. However, NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh has asked Simon to refuse any requests from Trudeau that would send voters to the ballot box, noting that the fixed-election law states that every general election must be held on the third Monday of October four calendar years after the last one.
In a letter to the Governor General Singh has stated that the law allows for an early election if  the government has lost the confidence of the House, but the Trudeau government has won every confidence vote it has faced, including the one on the speech from the throne and the budget. As usual, the NDP leader is telling half truths, in that the prime minister has the right to ask the Governor General to call an early election under the Constitution and the fixed-election law brought in by the Harper government did not change that.
However, surprises during election campaigns are not uncommon, in fact they often happen.
Who is to say that there won't be distressing news on the pandemic or the economy just around the corner, or some other unknown issues of the day for that matter? Who's to say the polling, an increasingly hazardous enterprise, is accurate or that it won't change after the writ is dropped? There is one very big constant in Canadian political history that plays strongly to the Liberal advantage and should not be overlooked. They have been and they still are the natural governing party. Other things being relatively equal, they will win. The Liberals have been in power for 71 of the last 100 years, 31 of the last 50. They have emerged victorious in 25 elections, compared to the 18 Conservatives victories.
In their political orientation, Canadians are predominantly progressive. It is evident in almost every election, wherein the combined vote of centre-left parties easily surmounts that of the conservative vote. However, that might change in view of the rise in globalist trends that work against national interests. That might give a real chance to new political parties who are more nation oriented. With a weak Conservative weather vane leader and a party lacking in constructive ideas, there is a real possibility that the Liberals will win a majority right now. To stop the Liberals, they'll
need a series of fortuitous campaign surprises which are less likely to occur. Then, as expected,
the natural governing party, the Liberals, will win again. Modern history also shows roughly 10-year governing stretches for parties before fatigue sets in. The Trudeau Liberals have only been in power for six years, suggesting that voter fatigue likely won't put the Conservatives over the top this time. A loss or a poor showing in the upcoming election for the Conservatives will signal a crisis in the party similar to that of the Liberals' Dion, Ignatieff fiasco. With Scheer's shredding of conservative values, followed so closely by O'Toole erring left right and center, there is some danger of a similar scenario unfolding for the Conservative Party. Maybe it is a time for Canadians to look for new parties to support. Parties with more Canadian oriented than globalist views, such as the emerging Peoples Party of Canada. In conclusion, we seem to be gearing up for an early fall election. Do not forget to vote for what you believe in.
Till then, continue to have a good summer.

Final Curtain

 Final Curtain
  Q My girlfriend Jessie and I were together four years. Recently, she went on a two-week family holiday. During those two weeks, I went for a night out with my work colleagues. I got extremely drunk and kissed a girl from work.

     I felt guilty the next day, but a few days later I told my friends, who are also her friends, that I wanted to break up with her. I didn’t, but I was confused at the time.
     The following Saturday, she came home. We went out that night, and I was so confused I told her we should break up. She thought I was playing games.

     She left the pub, and I followed. I told her, “I met somebody else.” I shouldn’t have said it that way, as I did not meet another girl. I just kissed her. It was the biggest mistake of my life.
     Over the next few weeks I tried contacting Jessie, but she would not answer her phone or reply to my texts. In the end, sometimes after work I drank too much and sent her text messages, some of which I’m not proud of.

     Because I was hassling her, she changed her phone number. I met up with her a few weeks later, and she talked to me for 20 minutes. She said we may be friends again, but that will be it.
     I was with Jessie four years, and we had a great relationship. I know we had our arguments, but every couple has arguments. The problem is, sometimes when we went out drinking, I would humiliate her about her weight, her makeup, or something else.
     I know I screwed up. I used to mess with her clothes when we were out in the pub, for example, lifting up her skirt, but that’s just me messing around.
     I have seen her a few times since we broke up. I send her a letter every week begging or groveling to give me a second chance. I know the mistakes I made and would not make them again.

     When I called Jessie’s house last Saturday, she wasn’t in. She rang me 30 minutes later and asked why I was still writing to her. I asked, could we meet up for a coffee?, but she said she didn’t want to as I would cry into my coffee, which is what happened last time.

     She says she is happy, and if she went back with me, she would go backwards. She said the next time she sees me in the street, she might say hello or she might not.
My heart inside was crushed. Is there anything I can do to get Jessie back?
Robert

A Robert, how is this a mistake?
     You kissed a girl in a bar. Perhaps you had too much to drink, but you weren’t drunk when you told mutual friends you wanted to break up. And when you broke up with Jessie in a pub, you said you had someone else.

That’s three “mistakes” in a row. That shows intent.
What you didn’t tell us is what you were trying to gain. Did you want to make her jump through hoops to get you back? Were you paying her back for an imagined sleight? We don’t know.
But she did not come crawling back, you did not get makeup sex, and your plan went awry.

     Often with letters like yours, the letter writer thinks they could do better. But the way you went about it, made it impossible for her to take you back. It would make her the beggar in the relationship.

She did what we would have told her to do, had she written us. Don’t take calls from him; don’t let him whisper in your ear; don’t let him wheedle his way back in.
You say you were confused, but you staged such a convincing show it was believed by all. Now you claim it was only an act, but what a great act it was. The audience applauded wildly, and you took a curtain call.

     Your letter is about how you didn’t get what you wanted, not about how you injured her. All your sorry is for yourself. Why are you concealing why you did it? Because it is not something you can say out loud.
     This was the classic breakup intended to hurt, and she was the last to know. You sealed the deal with a kiss. If you can’t be honest with us, at least be honest with yourself.
Wayne & Tamara                                             write:  Directanswers@WayneAndTamara.com

Our 2021 Civic Holiday

 

Our 2021 Civic Holiday
    by Maj (ret'd) CORNELIU E. CHISU, CD, PMSC,
FEC, CET, P. Eng.
Former Member of Parliament
Pickering-Scarborough East
   As we are approaching our Civic Holiday on August the 2nd let us think for a moment of relief from the pandemic blues. Let us celebrate with our family and friends in this beautiful but short Canadian summer. Let us be optimistic about our future.
The Civic Holiday is not a statutory holiday although it's a day off for many employees across the country. The Civic Holiday is commonly referred to as the August long weekend. It is probably the busiest day on highways as tens of thousands of families go camping and to cottages on that weekend.
So let us see a little bit of history of the Civic Holiday in Ontario. The origins of a holiday on the first Monday in August appear to date back to 1869 when Toronto City Council organized the first "day of recreation."
In Ontario, the first Monday of August is technically a municipal holiday, as it is not designated as an official statutory holiday by provincial legislation even thought various private member's bills have been introduced in the Ontario Legislature attempting to make it official, but none has passed to date.
As such, the holiday takes on different names and celebrates different subjects according to municipality. Many Ontario municipalities have chosen to honour a significant local person or organization in order to localize the celebration; when not given a local name (such as in Mississauga), the day is often generically referred to as "Civic Holiday" or "August Civic Holiday".
In 2008, the Ontario Legislature passed a law identifying the first of August as "Emancipation Day", as the British Parliament abolished slavery in the British Empire as of August 1, 1834. It still does not make it an official holiday, however.
The Civic Holiday is now known by one of a number of local appellations, including, among others:
-"Founders' Day" in Brantford (named in 1982): each year, the Brantford Heritage Committee submits a report to City Council with the name or organization that is to be recognized on that day.
-"Joseph Brant Day" in Burlington (): celebrating Joseph Brant, the Mohawk Chief who became known for his treaty negotiations and loyalty to the British.
-"James Cockburn Day" in Cobourg (1999): celebrating James Cockburn, one of the "fathers of Confederation".
-"John Galt Day" in Guelph (2006): celebrating John Galt, the Scottish novelist and businessman who founded the city.
-"George Hamilton Day" in Hamilton: celebrating George Hamilton, the eponymous founder of the city.
-"McLaughlin Day" in Oshawa (1983): celebrating Robert Samuel McLaughlin, who brought General Motors to Oshawa.
-"Colonel By Day" in Ottawa (1996): celebrating Colonel John By, who led the construction of the Rideau Canal and founded Bytown, which became the city of Ottawa.
-"Peter Robinson Day" in Peterborough: celebrating Peter Robinson
-"Alexander Mackenzie Day" in Sarnia (1998): celebrating Alexander Mackenzie, the 2nd Prime Minister of Canada.
-"Simcoe Day" in Toronto: celebrating John Graves Simcoe, the first Lieutenant-Governor of Upper Canada and the leading proponent of the Act Against Slavery.
-"Benjamin Vaughan Day" in Vaughan: celebrating the eponymous Benjamin Vaughan
Here in Durham Region in Oshawa let's have a look at who  Robert Samuel McLaughlin was.
Colonel Robert Samuel McLaughlin, CC ED CD (September 8, 1871 - January 6, 1972) was a Canadian businessman and philanthropist. He started the McLaughlin Motor Car Company in 1907, one of the first major automobile manufacturers in Canada, which evolved into General Motors of Canada.
McLaughlin was born in Enniskillen, near Bowmanville Ontario, to Robert McLaughlin and Mary Smith. As a young man, he worked briefly in a local hardware store, then in 1887 became an apprentice in his father's company, McLaughlin Carriage Works, which had opened in 1867. At one time it was the largest manufacturer of horse-drawn buggies and sleighs in the British Empire.
In 1892, McLaughlin and his brother George become junior partners in their father's company.  In 1898, he married Adelaide Mowbray.
He started producing the McLaughlin-Buick Model F with engines bought from William C. Durant of Buick, incorporating the McLaughlin Motor Car Company on November 20, 1907. In its first full year of operation, 1908, it produced 154 cars. By 1910 he was a director of General Motors. He sold his Chevrolet company stock in 1918, becoming president of General Motors of Canada, which continued to sell cars under the McLaughlin-Buick brand until 1942.
Though he retired in 1945, he remained chairman of the board until his death and remained on the board of General Motors until the early 1960s. He was replaced by Royal Bank of Canada president Earle McLaughlin, his first cousin once removed.
His older brother, chemist John J. McLaughlin (1865-1914), founded the Canada Dry company. After his brother's death in 1914, McLaughlin became president of this company until it was sold around 1923. The longest continuously-serving colonel in the history of the Canadian Forces, McLaughlin was appointed as honorary lieutenant-colonel of the 34th Ontario Regiment (1921 - 1931), when he was appointed as honorary colonel of the same unit, later designated as The Ontario Regiment (RCAC), a reserve armored regiment based in Oshawa. Affectionately known as "Colonel Sam", McLaughlin served as honorary colonel until 1967.
In 1967, McLaughlin was appointed a Companion of the Order of Canada.
A great Canadian, McLaughlin made a lot of charitable contributions.
In 1951, he established the McLaughlin Foundation which, donated nearly $200 million between 1953 and 2003 to the University of Toronto and other educational causes, including the McLaughlin Planetarium at the Royal Ontario Museum.
At Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario, the university's Mechanical Engineering Department is housed in McLaughlin Hall, his donation in 1948. McLaughlin Hall in Queen's University's John Deutsch University Centre is also named for him. Queen's honored his wife, Adelaide McLaughlin, in 1957, by naming the women's residence Adelaide Hall.
In 1947 McLaughlin and his wife donated land for "Camp Samac", a Boy Scout camp on the outskirts of Oshawa.
McLaughlin donated $1 million to the 1968 library building at the University of Guelph, which bears his name.
He provided partial funding to build McLaughlin College at York University in Toronto, opened in 1968. In recognition for his contributions to St. Andrew's College in Aurora, Ontario, McLaughlin Hall is named after him, which he unveiled in 1971 at the age of 99.
He endowed the Regimental Foundation of the Ontario Regiment (RCAC) and quietly paid the salaries of some of the regiment's soldiers during times of severely curtailed government funding. McLaughlin House at the Lester B. Pearson United World College of the Pacific also bears his name.
He gave generously to the art community, donating paintings from his personal collection. Among other gifts, he gave Lawren Harris`s Pic Island, Arthur Lismer`s Bright Land, and Emily Carr`s Old Tree at Dusk to the McMichael Canadian Art Collection in Kleinburg.
So get ready to celebrate but remember that here in Durham region in Oshawa, we have history to tell. Have a safe celebration.

CAN WE AFFORD TO GIVE AWAY 17.7 MILLION?

 

CAN WE AFFORD TO GIVE AWAY
17.7 MILLION?
By Joe Ingino
Editor/Publisher

“I live a dream in a nightmare world”   

    I don’t know about you.   But I keep seeing and hearing of all the people undergoing economic hardships across the region.  Stores keep closing, people keep loosing jobs, mortgages and hope.  
  It seems as the gloom and doom cloud can’t be shaken.   On top of that we could be yet be facing another wave of the Delta variance.
How much more can the people of Canada take.   I must admit that the Federal government has been quick to respond by extending numerous plans to assure everyone in need gets some sort of assistance.
Sadly many people I talk to do not know that they are entitled to apply or for that matter even know how to.
Others get entangled in red tape only to become discouraged and given up.
This week a news item came across my desk.  It read:  Canada donating 17.7M AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccines amid global disparities.
Canada continues to rapidly ramp up vaccinations against COVID-19 but there remain stark inequities in vaccine access globally, the WHO has warned.
  Now don’t get me wrong.  Nothing wrong with being generous and giving.... but should we not be thinking about our people first?
We have a record number of homeless people walking our streets.  We have a record number of people loosing their homes, jobs.   Should we not invest that money in our people?
I know the cry.  The government is doing all they can to assure people do not go without.
I can respect that.  My question is then why the need to give away 17.7 million that could go as a top up to those in need?
This covid thing is not over.  The number are being managed but the threat is still very real.   
I must acknowledge that in th covid model it appears that we found a magic bullet with possible two outcomes.  On the one.  It appears to have an impact on the spread of the virus.  On the other we are yet to uncover the true and real side ramifications of all jumping in front of the silver bullet.
 Will it hit its mark or will it end up killing us.   Did we just prolonged life only to come to realize that the cure is worst than the infection.
The theorist amongst us are already ramping up all kinds of things from the coincidence of the G5 network implemented across north America at the same time as everyone is being forced through fear of illness to vaccinate with nano-tech activator as inhibitors.   The reality of it is.  That we need to assure we Canadians lives quality of life is preserved and that before we give away any money in the name of charity or humanity to other nations, that we Canadians are taken care.

Are You Missing Life's Moments Because of Social Media?

 Are You Missing Life's Moments Because of
Social Media?
By Nick Kossovan

Recently my wife and I watched the movie Before Sunrise [1995], starring Ethan Hawke as Jesse and Julie Delpy as Celine. While travelling on a Eurail train from Budapest, Jesse, an American, sees Celine, who's French. It's Jesse's last day in Europe before returning to the US. Jesse strikes up a conversation with Celine, and they disembark in Vienna to spend the night wandering Austria's capital city.
Summary: Before Sunrise is a back-and-forth conversation between a romantic [Celine] and a cynic [Jesse].
During the closing credits, I turned to my wife and said, "That wouldn't have happened today. Jessie and Celine would have been staring at their respective smartphone throughout the train ride, which in 2021 would have free Wi-Fi, not noticing the passing scenery, their fellow passengers or each other, let alone start a conservation."
How much of real life are we trading to participate in the digital world?
I have this problem; actually, it's more of an addiction I need to keep in check constantly. I suffer from FOMO [Fear of Missing Out].
You've probably heard of FOMO. Odds are you suffer from it to a degree. FOMO is that uneasy feeling you get when you feel other people might be having a good time without you, or worst, living a better life than you. FOMO is why social media participation is as high as it is. FOMO is why you perpetually refresh your social media feeds, so you don't feel left out-so that you can compare your life. FOMO is what makes social media the dopamine machine it is.
FOMO has become an issue, especially for those under 40. More and more people choose to scroll mindlessly through their social media feeds regardless of whether they're commuting on public transit, having dinner in a restaurant, or at a sports event. Saying "yes" to the digital world and "no" to real life is now common.
Your soulmate could be sitting a few seats over on the bus (or Eurail train), or at the diner counter, or in the doctor's waiting room. However, you're checking your social media to see if Bob's vacationing in Aruba with Scarlett or if Farid got the new job and may now be making more money than you. Likely, your potential soulmate is probably doing the same.
Look around. Everyone is looking down at the screen in their hand, not up at each other.
We all know Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, et al. [even LinkedIn] doesn't provide a very well-rounded picture of people's lives. Most of what people post is cherry-picked to elicit self-affirming responses, such as likes, thumbs-up and hand-clapping emojis, retweets, shares, and those coveted comments of "Congratulations!", "Way to go!", "You're awesome!", "Looking good!"  
The Internet, especially its social media aspect, equates to "Look at me!"
Sometimes I wonder, if bragging and showing off were banned on social media sites, how much would posts decrease?
"Stop paying so much attention to how others around you are doing" was easy advice to follow pre-Internet (the late 90s). Back in the day, it would be only through the grapevine you were a part of that you found out if Bob was in Aruba with Scarlett and that be without pictures. Evidence of how others are doing, strangers included, is pervasive because undeniably, most of us care about status. In 2021 how people are doing is in the palm of our hands, so we tend to give more time to the device we're holding at the cost of neglecting the real-life happenings within our immediate surroundings.
Social media has made us a restless, anxious bunch underappreciating the present moment. With lockdown restrictions lifting and more social activities taking place, people will be hunkering down on their smartphones more than before to see what others are doing. They'll see the BBQ they weren't invited to or people they consider to be friends having a few laughs on the local pub's patio or camping or at the beach without them. Loneliness, questioning self-worth, depression will be the result.
Trading engaging with those around you to feed your FOMO angst is what we've come down to. In my opinion, Guildwood is the GTA's most walkable neighbourhood. You can choose to take walks around Guildwood, getting exercise, meeting people or stay addicted to the FOMO distress social media is causing you.
Instead of catching up with an old friend or colleague in person over lunch, coffee, or a walk in Guild Park & Gardens, people prefer to text or message each other on social media platforms eliminating face-to-face interactions. Instead of trying to reconnect with old friends verbally, people would rather sit at home with their technology devices and learn what their friends are up to through social media platforms, thus the start of a slippery slope towards anti-social behaviour.
Social media's irony is it has made us much less social. How Jesse and Celine meet [you'll have to see the movie] and the resulting in-depth conversation they have as they gradually open up to each other, thus beginning a postmodern romance wouldn't have happened today. They'd be too preoccupied with their smartphones feeding their FOMO addiction to notice each other.
Social media will always nudge you to give it attention, but that doesn't mean you have to oblige. Take it from me; there's more to be had in enjoying life's moments outside of social media.
Nick Kossovan is the Customer Service Professionals Network's Director of Social Media (Executive Board Member). You can reach Nick at nick.kossovan@gmail.com and him on Instagram and Twitter @NKossovan.

The Foibles of Money

 Direct Answers
from Wayne & Tamara

The Foibles of Money
Q I am a career banker with a nice little sideline as an investor. My style is not high risk with bitcoins, penny stocks, and the like. I try to buy the best companies when they temporarily stumble.
 I try to advise others. When my aunt would call and ask, “What do you have for me, son?” I was able to help her make some money.  I have not had results that were as good with my best friend. I was helping him run some money, and at the one-year mark, he had a 95% return; $8,000 turned into $15,600. His portfolio was doing better than mine on a percentage basis, because he was far more aggressive and less risk averse than me. Even so, we could have done better if he had listened to me.  The thing is I advised him to sell one position, or at least one part of it, in which he had a big gain. He and his wife love the industry and she would not let him.

 This stock is down. One stock he bought without us talking, and another he bought against my advice. Now, the $15,600 is down to $13,800. At one time, he was holding cash from a stock sold for a gain. I said sit tight until we find a bargain, but that cash was burning a hole in his pocket. Why?  I advised my younger cousin to buy a pot stock that I have a huge gain in. He researched the industry, and told me he bought another one just like mine. But he lost his ass on the one that was “like mine”. Why? It reminds me of an old episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show (showing my age here). Lou Grant was losing on football bets with his bookie. Then, he began winning using Ted Baxter’s system but it wasn’t any fun anymore.

Lou then bet his entire  bankroll on the Super Bowl, even though Ted’s system did not allow for any bet on the Super Bowl. Lou lost but was happy. It was fun again.
What part of human nature is this? Is it just a guy thing, because my aunt did not have it?
Cameron

A Cameron, let’s talk about your aunt first. Her attitude is, “Money is good, it makes my life more secure, and listening to Cameron is way easier than laying bricks for a living.” She doesn’t care if she is betting on the guy with the hot hand or betting on a guy smarter than the rest. She just wants the money. We would call her a realist.

Then there are your cousin and your best friend. We have a general comment about them. When you realize people usually act from their most base nature, it becomes easier to understand their behavior. Your cousin wants a sense of mastery. He wants to control something. Investing successfully will give him that feeling, the feeling of a do-it-yourself project done well.
He’s also troubled by FOMO, the fear of missing out.  “Cameron had fantastic success betting on a Canadian marijuana stock. How hard can it be? The sector is booming. I don’t need due diligence. I simply need to throw my hat in the ring so I don’t miss out.  “But I want my own pick, so when I get my big win, it isn’t due to Cameron.”

     In addition, if he felt you were bragging, he feels envy (he wants to possess what you possess), threatened (my mastery is in doubt), and competition (I’ll show that smarty pants Cameron). Then there’s your best friend; money burns a hole in his pocket. That sounds like the itch of the gambler. It’s the excitement! Your friend and his wife “have a good feeling” about an industry, the way some people have a good feeling about “sectors” in a casino. They prefer poker to blackjack or craps to slots. Much of their preference is simply good, old-fashioned greed. They want to take advantage of your advice, but they still want more. However, your best friend and his wife haven’t made any money yet. Their chips are still on the table. It won’t be money until they cash out.   
  And honestly, if you examine your own motives, you feel possessive about their winnings, as if they are losing your winnings. What would you like? You’d like your little ducklings to follow you and thank you for their success.
     People are funny about money. Some are more likely to tell you about their sexual life than about how much money they make. When it involves money…money often doesn’t have a bonding effect on relationships, it has a breaking the bond effect.

     What’s in it for others in giving you credit? For most people, the answer is nothing. Your guidance becomes their savvy decision to invest their money.

     That goes back to our first premise. When you realize people usually act from their most base nature, it becomes easier to understand human behavior.
Wayne & Tamara                                             write:  Directanswers@WayneAndTamara.com

Fixing the Leak of Untold Incontinence

   Fixing the Leak of Untold Incontinence

 W. Gifford-Jones, M.D. and Diana Gifford-Jones
 Fixing the Leak of Untold Incontinence
Urinary incontinence is one of the most common problems of aging. It instills, needlessly, the prospect of embarrassment and a fear of leaving the house. Comedians quip, "If you don't know when you need to go, by the time you find out, you've already gone!" But in fact, it's no laughing matter when a sneeze, cough, or even just standing up causes urine suddenly to leak through your clothes.
Stress incontinence occurs when pressure in the urinary bladder is greater than the ability of the muscles to hold back the flow of urine. In men, it may be associated with aging, or the result of a radical prostatectomy for cancer of the prostate gland. For women, it's often due to repeated pregnancies and the strain on pelvic muscles during labour.
Urge incontinence is the issue when you feel a sense of panic. "I've got to go quickly to urinate or I'm in trouble." The sudden, intense urge to urinate is followed by an involuntary loss of urine.
The risk factors include obesity, which increases pressure on the bladder and surrounding muscles, and smoking, where continually coughing exerts stress on pelvic muscles.
Constipation is another factor. Grunting and pushing with bowel movements of hard, compacted stools further injures pelvic muscles and causes nerves to become overactive, which increases the urge to urinate frequently. Taking 2,000 milligrams (mg) of vitamin C at bedtime triggers results. If it does not, increase to 4,000 the next night. Then eat a high fiber cereal and a hot drink in the morning. A bowel movement will follow. As a cardinal rule, don't ruin your colon with laxatives.
Making changes in lifestyle can help to ease this problem. Decrease caffeine, alcohol and other diuretics. Stop smoking. Avoid acidic foods.
Remember dams that leak must be strengthened. So do exercises. Imagine trying to pick up a marble and hold it using the muscles in your pelvic floor. Do this eight times several times a day and continue daily for three months. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day. This simple procedure usually improves incontinence as it bulks up pelvic muscles surrounding the urethra (the tube that carries urine to the outside) and helps to stop dribbling of urine. If the muscles have become so weak that they fail to respond to this exercise your doctor may suggest electrical stimulation to trigger muscle response.
Artificial bulking agents made of biocompatible material are available to help improve urethral function. A cystoscope is inserted into the penis or vagina and the bulking agent is injected around the urethra. This may take two or three sessions to get the required result. But results are not as good in males who have had a radical prostatectomy.
If all this fails, surgery will be suggested. For women this usually means a vaginal operation, but some surgeons prefer an abdominal one. A sling operation is currently the most effective. The rationale behind this surgery is quite simple. By placing a sling under the urinary bladder, it will not only be lifted, but the procedure will also change the angle, decreasing the loss of urine.
For males with significance urinary incontinence who have had a radical prostatectomy, an artificial urinary valve can be inserted which closes the valve on a continual basis. But it can be opened by a small pump implanted under the scrotum skin.
Urinary incontinence is called a "closet problem". After all, who wants to admit they wet their pants. But too many North Americans suffer from this disorder in silence, when they should be getting help.
Visit www.docgiff.com for health tips and more. For comments, contact-us@docgiff.com. Follow us on Instagram @docgiff and @diana_gifford_jones
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Addressing Your Cover Letter to the Right Person Is Vital

 

Addressing Your Cover Letter to the
Right Person Is Vital
By Nick Kossovan
    A well-written cover letter, which is non-negotiable if you're a serious job hunter, starts with your header and a greeting an actual person.
Most job postings don't indicate a name to whom you send your resume. Application instructions are usually along the lines of clicking on an 'Apply Now' button or a website link. Ever-increasingly rare: "Please email your resume and cover letter to Gia at hr@tonyspizza.ca."
Personally, I think employers purposefully omit the hiring manager's name/contact information. They want to see which candidates have the hunger and ingenuity to find the hiring manager or department head's name, office address and contact information. With the Internet, especially LinkedIn, you don't require Sherlock Holmes investigative abilities to locate such information. Therefore, not doing so shows laziness and is an easy way to have applicants self-select themselves.
A clear signal of an employer wanting to have candidates self-select is when the posting mentions to whom the role reports to (Reporting to Chief Revenue Officer). This is an indicator to see which applicants will make the effort to find the person's name/contact information and reach out to who may be their future boss.
Look at hiring from the employer's view. Say a nation-wide furniture retailer posts on LinkedIn, Indeed and Glassdoor a Merchandise Planner position. The posting instructs applicants to apply on the company's website. Conservatively, given today's job market, this posting will attract between 400 to 600 applicants. What percentage of applicants do you figure will include a well-written cover letter, even if instructed to do so?  
Sadly, lazy job searching is common and what clogs up employers hiring pipelines.
As I've mentioned in previous columns, but worth repeating, you need to maximize your job-hunting activities by making sure you're stacking the odds of getting a "yes" to move forward in the hiring process in your favour.
There have been times when I posted a job online, instructing to apply through the company's website, and received around 400 applicants. Those applicants who reached out to me got my attention, and I gave their resumes a serious read. Unless detrimentally unqualified, those who reached out to me got an interview invitation - they'd demonstrated initiative, which I value in an employee. I wouldn't be hazarding a guess if I stated, "Employers like to see initiative."
With the above, the head-scratcher is I always mention my name and job title in my job postings, yet still few contact me directly which makes my which applicants to invite for an interview decision much more manageable.
NOTE: Always follow the employer's application instructions. After having applied accordingly, then reach out to the hiring manager. In your cover letter, indicate you've applied (I applied to the Principal Technical Analyst position posted on Glassdoor. This role speaks directly to my skill set and experience. I hope to be part of the hiring process, thus why I'm reaching out to you directly.) and then move into your cover letter.
You want your cover letter's heading/greeting to be:
Ms. Betty Cooper
Vice President Marketing
Gringotts Wizarding Bank
4305 Pine Street
Breton, AB T0C 0P0
Re: Customer Service Representative Opening [Ref. ID: CS300-Breton]
Dear Ms. Cooper:
Finding the hiring manager or department head's name, office address, and contact information is usually simply a matter of entering the company name and some keywords (Acme Inc., head of operations, sales) into the search bar of LinkedIn (start here). Then, after you've tried Google, try various search engines such as Yahoo, Bing, DuckDuckGo and Ask.com. Respective search engines use different search algorithms; therefore, a search of "Adrian Dobrow, Director of Finance, MomCorp" on Yahoo will yield different results than Ask.com.
TIP: When emailing your resume, your cover letter needs to be in the body of your email, not as an attachment. The purpose of your cover letter is to get the reader to read your resume. Having your cover letter in your email body will significantly increase the odds that your cover letter being read and giving it a chance to do its job.
Next week I move onto how to craft the first paragraph (introduction) of your cover letter by grabbing the reader's attention with 2 - 3 of your top achievements.
Nick Kossovan, a well-seasoned veteran of the corporate landscape, offers advice on searching for a job. You can send him your questions at artoffindingwork@gmail.com.

PAY, PAY, PAY OR WE CUT YOU OFF

 

PAY, PAY, PAY OR WE CUT YOU OFF
By Joe Ingino
Editor/Publisher

“I live a dream in a nightmare world”   

    In an age of anti bullying, fairness, equality and the championing of rights and freedoms.    We surely have become ignorant of our realities.   For the longest time we have been paying through our nose for things like convenience, customer service and many more things that are presented as good for us the consumers when in reality they are in the best interest of the supplier.
When was the last time you took a look at one of your utility bills?  Have you noticed all the extra charges... and for what.?
Look at this natural gas bill for example:
Customer Charge $21.48 - CUSTOMER CHARGE!!!  WHAT IS THIS CHARGE FOR?  BEING A CUSTOMER.  SHOULD THIS CHARGE BE ON OUR BILL?
Delivery to You $33.25  DELIVERY TO (YOU) REALLY... IT COSTS $33.25 TO SEND ME YOUR PRODUCT OVER A PIPE THAT HAS BEEN IN THE GROUND FOR THE PAST 100 YEARS.   HOW DO THEY CALCULATE THIS DELIVERY COST?  THIS IN MY OPINION IS NOTHING BUT A MONEY GRAB.
Transportation to Enbridge $13.96  TO AD INSULT TO INJURY THE GAS COMPANY HAS THE BALLS TO CHARGE  YOU A TRANSPORTATION FEE TO ENBRIDGE.... LIKE REALLY... WE PAY TWO DELIVERY FEES FOR THE USE OF THE SAME PIPE.
Federal Carbon Charge $20.02  WOW... $20.02 FOR A GHOST TAX.  WE PAY MORE FOR THE CARBON TAX THAN THE ACTUAL USAGE OF THE GAS.
Gas Supply Charges $35.87  TECHNICALLY THIS IS THE ONLY AMOUNT THE CONSUMER SHOULD BE PAYING.... ALL THE OTHERS ARE NOTHING BUT LEGALIZED THEFT.
Cost Adjustment ($4.15)  GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT THE ADJUSTMENT IS FOR.
Charges for Natural Gas $120.43    ON A $35.87 ACTUAL USAGE YOU PAY $100 MORE FOR ADDITIONAL CHARGES.
HST $15.66Total Charges for Natural Gas $136.09   REALLY.... IT SEEMS THAT EVERYONE GETS A PIECE OF THE PIE.
No wonder these companies make billions a year.   No wonder they have staff and new vehicles every other year.  No wonder they can look down at the ratepayers and threaten them with disconnection.  The utility companies hold you hostage with your own money.
   In this modern society we are raising people to follow and not to question.  Conformity is the norm.  You oppose you loose.  Companies are taking advantage of this and making millions in charges that they have no right to charge consumers.  Consumers have no choice but to pay.  How can we ever achieve equality when within our social systems so much goes unnoticed.  So many injustices, justified and so much wrong allowed?