Saturday, November 30, 2024
The Baby Boomer Generation: Facing Loss and Finding Meaning Life and Loss: Navigating Grief and Finding Purpose
The Baby Boomer Generation: Facing Loss and Finding Meaning
Life and Loss:
Navigating Grief and Finding Purpose
By Dale Jodoin
As the Baby Boomer generation enters its later years, loss has become an inescapable part of life. The passing of parents, siblings, spouses, and friends forces us to face the fragility of life. These losses don’t just mark the end of relationships—they prompt deep reflection on our own mortality and the impact we’ve had on those around us.
Loss is universal, yet it feels deeply personal when it happens to us. For Baby Boomers, saying goodbye to aging parents is often a poignant milestone. It’s a moment that shifts the family dynamic, leaving many to step into the role of the eldest generation. This shift often comes with a profound sense of vulnerability, as the people who once protected and guided us are no longer there.
But losing a sibling or close friend carries a different kind of weight. These are the people who shared our lives, our secrets, and our memories. Their absence reminds us that time is fleeting and that even the strongest bonds can be broken by death.
The loss of a spouse, however, is perhaps the most life-altering experience. A partner represents a shared life, a co-writer of your story. When they’re gone, the world feels quieter, emptier. Tasks that once seemed mundane, like preparing meals or watching TV, now highlight the void left behind.
As death approaches, many people find themselves turning inward. For some, this means reaching out to faith or spirituality. Even those who’ve spent decades away from religion often find themselves praying or seeking forgiveness at the end of life. The prospect of leaving unfinished business—whether with loved ones or a higher power—can weigh heavily on the mind.
Forgiveness becomes a recurring theme in these moments. Old grudges, once seen as insurmountable, suddenly seem trivial in the face of mortality. Yet, the desire for reconciliation often comes late, leaving little time to rebuild the connections that were lost.
It’s a reminder to settle disputes and mend relationships while there’s still time. Whether through heartfelt conversations or simple gestures, letting go of resentment can bring peace not only to the dying but also to those left behind.
For parents, the loss of a child is a grief that defies explanation. It goes against the natural order of life and leaves a wound that never fully heals. The sense of helplessness is overwhelming, as there’s no way to shield a child from the inevitability of death.
This type of loss carries a ripple effect through families. It’s a grief that unites, yet isolates. Support from others who’ve experienced similar pain can be invaluable, as only they can truly understand the depth of this heartbreak.
As death touches those around us, it also forces us to examine our own lives. What legacy are we leaving behind? How will we be remembered? These are questions many Baby Boomers are asking as they approach their later years.
For some, the answers lie in revisiting faith or seeking a deeper connection with the world around them. A quiet moment in nature, a visit to a place of worship, or simply spending time with loved ones can provide clarity.
Others focus on practical matters, like organizing their finances or writing a will. These steps, though sometimes uncomfortable, can ease the burden on those left behind. They’re acts of love that show consideration for the future.
Grieving is a deeply personal process, and no two people experience it the same way. For some, the pain is overwhelming, making it difficult to move forward. In these moments, reaching out for help is essential.
Support groups, whether in person or online, offer a safe space to share stories and emotions. They remind us that grief is a shared experience and that there’s strength in leaning on others. Friends and family can also provide comfort, even if it’s just through their presence.
It’s important to remember that grief doesn’t have a timeline. Healing is not about forgetting—it’s about learning to live with the loss and finding ways to honor the memory of those who’ve passed.
Despite the inevitability of death, life remains a gift to be cherished. Each day offers an opportunity to create new memories, strengthen relationships, and find joy in the small moments. Whether it’s laughing with grandchildren, exploring a new hobby, or simply enjoying a sunrise, these moments remind us of the beauty that still exists.
At the same time, it’s crucial to address the practical aspects of life’s end. Writing down wishes, resolving conflicts, and communicating openly with loved ones can provide a sense of closure. It ensures that when the time comes, you can leave with fewer regrets and a clearer conscience.
Grief is a reflection of love. The pain we feel when someone dies is a testament to the bond we shared with them. While the loss is devastating, it’s also a reminder of the impact they had on our lives.
As we navigate this journey, it’s important to remember that we’re not alone. Others have walked this path before us and will walk it after us. Together, we can find strength in our shared humanity, creating a legacy of love and compassion for those who will carry on after us.
Live fully. Love deeply. And when the end comes, face it with grace and gratitude for the life you’ve lived.
Ward 2 oshawa the forgotten people…
ward 2 oshawa
the forgotten people...
By Joe Ingino
B.A. Psychology
Editor/Publisher Central Newspapers
ACCOMPLISHED WRITER/AUTHOR OF OVER 800,000
Published Columns in Canada and The United States
For those that read my column on a regular basis. will know that I am a believer in the democratic process when it comes to electing government officials. In the same breath. You, also know where I stand with the quality of the candidates that we elect in office.
The quality of living in the City of Oshawa keeps getting worst. Taxes keep going up. One would have thought that at the 2022 municipal election the electorate would have voted for change. Almost a reset button on Oshawa’s quality of life. NO - instead the electorate kept all the councillor and the incumbent Mayor and only changed one.
I still can’t believe the results and the outcome. To vote back in a Mayor that has turned downtown Oshawa into Durham’s capital for the homeless, drug use, drug trade and prostitution.
I am beyond words. Only to strengthen my position on how the electorate votes.
Take for example the only change in the municipal roster. Ward 2, City Councillor, Jim Lee.
At first I was excited. I thought finally someone with some credentials and a some what proven work history. I had hope for the ward with an under used airport. With a ward that has no representation. At the region, Regional and City councillor Tito-Dante Marimpietri has had numerous terms as the ward 2 rep. How has the ward benefitted? Anyone’s guess.
As for Lee. He has shown respect and visited my office once since elected. I appreciated that.... as Tito in his God knows how many terms... maybe visited his local city newspaper once or twice out of the many years he has been elected.
Lee, in my opinion. Has become institutionalized. The do nothing and say even less, gets you elected time and time again appears.
Lee instead of taking this golden opportunity to make a name for himself. He has opted to cushion his pension and play by the municipal coalitions rules. Say nothing, support what the coalition supports and support corporate prejudice and political vindication against anyone that challenges the status quo at the City of Oshawa offices. If I am wrong. I will be the first to apologize. One question. What has Lee done for ward 2 in his half term.
The City position on doing business with the 30 serving newspaper is ignored due to political vendetta. They claim they support local small businesses. We are living proof of their bias, prejudice and lack of support for local small businesses. This is in part why there are so many vacancies in our core. NO SUPPORT. The City of Oshawa is not inclusive but selective.
NEW DOWNTOWN DEVELOPMENT ON ITS WAY -MERCHANTS CONCERNED OVER LOSS OF PARKING-
NEW DOWNTOWN DEVELOPMENT ON ITS WAY
-MERCHANTS CONCERNED OVER LOSS OF PARKING-
By Dean Hickey
THE PRINCIPLES WHICH GUIDE the approval of any new development within the city’s downtown core will, by necessity, demand a parallel review of the existing parking capacity upon which so many businesses and residents rely.
With the future of Lot 4 now being debated by council, many among the various property owners, merchants, and those who frequent the area will doubtless be concerned as to the potential reduction in the number of available spots.
The Economic and Development Services committee decided in early November to declare the surface parking lot at the north side of Athol Street, between Simcoe and Centre Streets, as ‘surplus’ in an effort to engage with those seeking to develop the property into something far beyond its current use.
Due to the nature of the process which surrounds such negotiations and decision making, most of what has so-far been discussed has taken place in closed session, and the details have yet to be disclosed. It is known, however, that staff did recommend the approval of a specific proposal having been brought forward as a result of a targeted RFP (Request for Proposals) process, whereby consideration was given to a few select proponents.
Committee members took a publicly recorded vote on the matter and, oddly enough, those who were opposed to the staff recommendation were Ward 4 councillors Rick Kerr and Derek Giberson. Both men represent the area that encompasses the downtown, and they are known as having competing visions for the city. Those differences will undoubtedly play a role in their responses to a recent petition that has been submitted to city hall on the issue of parking and the losses that may occur.
A group of downtown merchants have signed the petition that reads as follows: “We hereby write, sign, and validate this document as a request…with regards to the acceptance of such project wherein consideration is given to the development of a Parking Lot in the area of Lot 4 in downtown Oshawa. The shortage of parking is NEGATIVELY affecting businesses and is resulting in loss of customers and loss of business revenue. Countless customers have expressed their frustration with the lack of parking, and after circling the downtown area and wasting over fifteen minutes, they give up and go somewhere else. If you want to see businesses grow and thrive in downtown Oshawa, you MUST provide parking. We NEED this parking lot to be built to accommodate customers driving from outside of the area and to generate more productivity in the neighbourhood and provide the potential of expansion for future projects. This is a basic necessity.”
One property owner I spoke with, on condition of anonymity for the sake of his tenants, said “Anyone can see we have parking issues downtown. The City doesn’t have the money to do anything about it, so they’re relying on developers.” He went on to add, “Factor in the massive residential developments that are coming downtown and we are severely affected.”
He expressed a high level of frustration over the City’s consultation process, telling me it’s quite simply insufficient. “They need better communications people, because we have a manager at city hall who is responsible for downtown business development, and nobody seems to know who she is or what she does.”
That’s unfortunate, because the effects of an ever-shrinking supply of parking are being felt directly by those who are trying to make a living in the city’s core, and they need proper representation at the staff level.
Supporting a blanket conversion of Lot 4 into other uses may be a recipe for advanced economic decline, if one also takes into account the proposal from the Provincial government for dedicated rapid bus lanes that will consume no less than 125 parking spaces when complete. If that wasn’t bad enough, consider the effect the widening of sidewalks along the north side of King Street has had on the number of spaces available, and the losses continue to mount.
This is where the difference in vision between the two Ward 4 councillors may be considered. I was advised by one downtown merchant of a recent survey undertaken by councillor Kerr in an apparent effort to gauge just how troubling the whole parking issue has become. “Rick Kerr is all over this parking thing, and it’s like he’s on a mission” she told me as we discussed her most pressing concerns. Numerous factors have come together in recent years, causing a negative effect on her business. They include open drug use among the homeless, an increase in crime, and of course the slow but steady erosion of accessible parking for customers she says are uncomfortable walking any great distance, particularly as the daylight hours diminish at this time of year.
I reached out to councillor Kerr for comment, and he suggested that “Our downtown businesses are stifled now by a lack of parking, for both customers and employees, and I can give you at least three examples. The first is the CIBC building, which has lots of available opportunities for future tenants, however they require reliable, available parking in order to successfully market their office space. Another example is the number of empty store-fronts where businesses have closed or relocated to other areas they see as more accessible. The third component is the lack of development potential for small-footprint buildings that cannot be converted or redeveloped due to their lack of anticipated parking requirements.”
While I did not reach out directly to councillor Giberson, his public comments on the issue of mobility within cities, and downtowns in general, has been outwardly focused on the promotion of alternate forms of transportation. In one of his social media posts he offers the following, “It's great to see what Ottawa has been doing in substantially increasing their bike lanes, and they are proof that with time (decade+) and focused will (political, planning & engineering depts, community organizing, financial commitment), you can build up that network and make active transportation and public transportation…a viable alternative to car-centric mobility…”
For many elected officials and urban planners, it has become fashionable to cast retailers and others who decry the absence of parking as being somehow biased in their perceptions and without proper appreciation for aspects such as bike lanes, which have certainly been in the news recently.
Meanwhile, in the shops and offices downtown, those at ground zero can see for themselves exactly what the absence of a meaningful strategic parking initiative has cost them, and they’re tired of excuses from a bureaucratic and political establishment that lacks the necessary vision. 
Canada –an independent nation
Canada –an independent nation
by Maj (ret'd) CORNELIU. CHISU, CD, PMSC,
FEC, CET, P. Eng.
Former Member of Parliament
Pickering-Scarborough East
With the world in turmoil, Canada embroiled in political fights between the two parties which have traditionally ruled it, and our southern neighbor considering the imposition of a 25% tax on products from Canada under the new Trump administration, it is time to remember a little of our history and learn from our past leaders.
Largely unknown and unrecognised by the vast majority of Canadians, the Statute of Westminster Day, celebrated on December 11th is nonetheless an extremelyimportant day in Canada’s history as a nation.
The self-governing colonies of the British Empire, which included Canada, were known as the Dominions.
Despite their right for self-government, the British parliament had considerable legislative authority over the Dominions.
The situation was changed by the Statute of Westminster in 1931, which increased the sovereignty of the Dominions, giving them legal autonomy and making them essentially sovereign nations in their own right.
However, at Canada’s request, the British parliament retained the power to amend the constitution of Canada for five more decades after the enactment of the Statute.
The anniversary of the Statute of Westminster is celebrated in Canada every year, but it is not a public holiday, which means that government offices, educational establishments, banks, and businesses remain open unless December 11 falls on a weekend.
To celebrate the day, the national flag of Canada and the Royal Union Flag, commonly referred to as the Union Jack, are flown side by side on federal buildings and establishments from sunrise to sunset. Please observe that this is the case in your community.
In remembering the steps involved in the formation of the Canada of today, July 1, 1867, the day the Confederation of Canada came into being is generally considered the founding date of the country. However, at that rime the country still wasn’t an entirely “autonomous” nation.
That came decades later, on December 11, 1931 with the passing of the Statute of Westminster.
The British law clarified that Canada and other Commonwealth countries have full legal freedom except in areas where those nations chose to remain subordinate to Britain.
That Statute included the Dominion of Canada, the colony of Newfoundland (which would join Canada in 1949), the Commonwealth of Australia, the Dominion of New Zealand, the Union of South Africa, and the Irish Free State.
Having garnered great respect internationally and a strong sense of Canada’s unique nationality as a result of the First World War, Canada signed the Treaty of Versailles ending that war as a separate nation from Britain, though this was not quite the case.
During the following years, the government of Canadian Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie-King sought the full rights of a sovereign country in creation of laws and foreign policy.
The process had begun in the 1920’s when Canada signed a fishing treaty with the U.S without British participation, established an embassy in Washington, and decided not to assist a British occupation force in Turkey without the approval of Canada’s Parliament.
However, the seeds for autonomy were sown in 1926 at the Imperial Conference when Britain’s foreign minister, Lord Balfour proposed that the Dominions be granted legislative autonomy.
In 1929, Canada’s head of the Department of External Affairs, O.D. Skelton, attended the Conference on the Operation of Dominion Legislation in London. Here the various resolutions proposed in 1926 were firmed up.
In 1930 the various governments submitted terms of the future Statute to their Parliaments. Then on the date of December 11, 1931, the Statute was passed into law.
While the Dominions accepted all resolutions, only Canada couldn’t determine a process to amend the Constitution.
Thus, power to amend Canada’s Constitution remained under British authority until 1982 with the passing of Canada’s Constitution Act.
In conclusion, the anniversary of the Statute of Westminster is a key date that celebrates Canada’s legal independence from Britain.
This day is important because it marks Canada’s legislative autonomy, allowing it to make its own laws without British approval.
The Statute of Westminster was a pivotal step in Canada’s journey towards becoming a fully sovereign nation.
Celebrations on this day highlight Canada’s identity and achievements.
The statute is celebrated because it acknowledges the hard work and determination of Canadian leaders who fought for the country’s independence.
It also serves as a reminder of Canada’s evolution into a nation that stands on its own while still being part of the Commonwealth.
Our current leaders need to remember the work of their forefathers who guided Canada’s evolution to becoming an independent nation, They need to learn from our history, and possibly be inspired by the achievements of their predecessors.
Instead of bickering in their ivory towers in Ottawa, our leaders should concentrate on developing new and inspiring objectives for Canada as a nation, working to evolve Canada into a leading nation of the world.
What do you think?
Resume Trickery Never Works
Resume Trickery
Never Works
By Nick Kossovan
There was a time when "white fonting," using white text to hide keywords in your resume, was suggested to circumvent an employer's ATS. Many still use this resume trickery, which is considered unethical by many, even though ATS systems can detect white-font text and disregard it, and recruiters can check for.
The latest resume trickery self-professed career coaches are advising job seekers who feel their age is an obstacle to leaving dates off their resume. It's worth noting that it's in a career coach's best interest to have you believe ageism is widespread since this narrative helps them sell their "services."
Does ageism exist? Of course, it does, irrespective of age, along with countless other biases, albeit not to the extent promoted by career coaches and the media, whose self-interest is best served by keeping us anxious and addicted to the news.
Career coach's business model: Create a false narrative about a supposed job seeker's "obstacle" and offer a solution.
Leaving dates off your resume or LinkedIn profile is lying by omission—intentionally leaving out critical information to create a misleading impression—constitutes an unethical attempt to influence the reader by misrepresenting yourself. Furthermore, since dates of employment and graduation are standard on a resume, omitting dates raises a glaring red flag that you're hiding something. Hiring managers and recruiters read the same job search advice you do. When they read a resume without dates, they know why the candidate hasn't included them.
Putting aside the ethical question, assuming leaving off dates does get you an interview, once face-to-face, your age will be apparent; what then? If the hiring manager is an ageist, once seated, your age takes centre stage. They'll look for ways to confirm any biases they have of the age group and generation you belong to, such as:
· you won't be a cultural fit
· you'll soon retire
· you have age-related health issues
· you'll be entitled and easily offended and, therefore, hard to manage (especially younger candidates)
· you'll be more likely to engage in activism
· lack of experience
· too much experience (overqualified, will be expensive)
The range of assumptions, the foundation on which biases are formed, covers all ages, genders, races, ethnicities, etc. Hiring is a human judgement activity—maybe AI will change this one day—therefore, biases are inherent in the hiring process. You have biases; I have biases. Social norms and legislation cover up but don't eradicate biases, turning them into "subtle undertones."
Presuming skills, competencies, and experience are relatively equal, which candidate would you lean toward:
Candidate A: As you're engaging in small talk, which they initiated, they mentioned they're Seattle Kraken fans; you also happen to be a fan.
Candidate B: Doesn't initiate small talk, and when you ask if they watched last night's Seattle Kraken vs. New York Islanders game, they say they don't like sports.
Candidate A: Attended MacEwan University (Class of 2002), as did you (Class of 1997).
Candidate B: Attended Boatwright University (Class of 1993).
Generally, our biases aren't malicious. I'm of the opinion that, for the most part, "bias" is merely choosing whether an employee, friend, spouse, mechanic, doctor, or financial advisor is someone you feel comfortable with, and commonalities go a long way in making this decision. Your interviewer, especially if they're the person you'll be reporting to, is asking themselves:
· Can I work with this person?
· Will the team accept this person?
Another reason lying by omission is futile is the Internet, which experts conveniently fail to mention. The Internet has made hiding your age and other details about yourself a futile endeavour. It's a given that your LinkedIn profile will be read, and you'll be Googled to determine if you're interview-worthy. If a hiring manager wants to know your age or anything else about you, they can use Google and find:
· the years you graduated
· the years you played minor league hockey
· the picture your daughter, who tagged you, posted on Facebook in August 2004 of you dropping her off at university
· the whitepaper, Advancing European Markets Are Undermining Globalization, you wrote back in 1998 for the brokerage firm you were working at
· your tweet announcing your 25th wedding anniversary
The point I'm making is it's better to be transparent about your age or [whatever]. At some point in the hiring process, especially since employers usually conduct four to six interviews, the employer will find out what you're trying to hide. Therefore, if the hiring manager is an ageist, you'll be eliminated when they Google you and determine your age, and off-chance should you get an interview, it'll be awkward. It's better to beeliminated upfront than to spend time preparing for and conducting an interview only to be rejected because of an "ism."
I believe ageism or any other "ism" can be overcome by self-empowerment (read: respecting yourself) that comes from being proud of who you are and all you've accomplished rather than contorting yourself trying to be accepted. Look for an employer who values the experience of a 'seasoned' candidate—they do exist. Self-respect begets respect. I don't know a hiring manager who hires candidates they don't respect.
_____________________________________________________________________
Nick Kossovan, a well-seasoned veteran of the corporate landscape, offers advice on searching for a job. You can send him your questions at artoffindingwork@gmail.com
NAVIGATING THE NARRATIVE WAR
How Crime Affect Home Values Theresa Grant
How Crime Affect Home Values Theresa Grant
By Theresa Grant - Real Estate Columnist
We all want to live in a beautiful neighbourhood where the streets are lined with mature trees, the neighbours all know each other, and the sounds of children playing echo through the air.
Often, through the years, I have heard people say that when they grew up, they never had to lock their doors.
In fact, I remember myself, growing up in Toronto. We lived on a side street in the Yonge and Eglinton area. It was a very nice area. Very quiet at the time. There were two schools in the area so you either went to the Catholic school or the Public school. Although the kids attended the different schools, there were all neighbours and so we played together every day and on weekends. Our summers were spent together, exploring our neighbourhood. For the most part, the parents knew each other, at least to say hello. I know that our front door was rarely locked. That was the 70’s mind you. Things have changed quite a bit since then.
I remember driving with my family to visit my Aunt and Uncle who lived in Oshawa. The lived-on St. Lawrence St. around Mill and Simcoe. There was a Kentucky Fried Chicken on the corner of Mill and Simcoe, and as soon as we would pull off of the 401, we could see the giant bucket turning atop its pole.
It was so exciting for us kids. We always had Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner when we visited our Oshawa relatives. Many times I would here one of my cousins announce that they were heading uptown. I always wondered why they called it uptown, In Toronto, we would always say downtown. All of the neighbours on St. Lawrence knew each other and they knew us as well. Very friendly people, they were. We never heard any talk of crime or violence to any degree. We played freely without a care in the world.
Today things are very different, and our society has changed so drastically. Once lovely neighbourhoods have fallen into disrepair. Drugs, violence, and homelessness have taken root in some of the oldest and most well-established areas of our city. While local Council scrambles to keep up with the growing issues that plague our city, homeowners have to do what they can to protect themselves and their property. As well as protecting their property, their property values are actually affected by crime rates. If you live in a high crime area, the value of your home will be less than the same home in a low crime area of the city. People want to feel safe, especially at home. Some areas of the city tend to see more crime than others. Unfortunately, an area that has experienced a high crime rate will often be painted with a stigma long after things have started to get better in the neighbourhood. Whether purchasing or renting, it’s always a good idea to thoroughly research the area that you are planning to move into and call home.
Questions? Column ideas? You can email me at newspaper@ocentral.com
I'll Be Home For Christmas
I'll Be Home For
Christmas
from Wayne & Tamara
I have been married 25 years. We come from completely different backgrounds. I grew up in a large family in a small town, and we were poor. My husband is an only child, privileged, and he was given everything by his parents. This continued throughout all our married life.
The house we moved into, against my wishes, is theirs. It was "given" to us when they retired and built a home in a warmer climate. However, the deed remained in his parents' name, and they came back every summer for a visit. For me it was a nightmare.
I work full-time but arranged time off to get everything in immaculate order for Abigail, my mother-in-law. It was never good enough. It was always a white glove inspection with her rubbing her hands across my kitchen counter and glancing at her fingertips. She even poked her head up inside the fireplace.
She would say, "Oh, honey, you need to clean your mirrors," or "I rewaxed your floors because I didn't think they were clean enough." When she asked how I liked my house, I would say I didn't really think it was mine. She would smile at me and say, "No, it's not, is it?"
One year after they arrived and we were having dinner, I made a grammatical error. I said "me and Linda" instead of "Linda and I." Abigail rapped her spoon on the tabletop screeching, "Honey, Honey, Honey! It is not me and Linda! It is Linda and I! Linda and I! Linda and I!" I was so stunned and embarrassed I excused myself from the table.
My husband and my father-in-law just dropped their heads. As usual, what Abigail did was "for my own good." The following year she brought me a grammar book.
I adored my father-in-law. He made me feel special. He would put his arms around me and tell me how much he appreciated me putting up with them. My husband would say, "That's just my mom." So I quit trying to fight her for the sake of my father-in-law and husband and to keep the peace.
Three years ago when my father-in-law died, something happened inside me. I felt so much anger at Abigail I wanted to stay away from her. Last Christmas I didn't want to go see her. Abigail went berserk saying, "How will this look to my friends?" So I went.
Within 24 hours she started in on me, as always, after my husband left the room. This time I called my husband back. It shocked my husband to see his sweet mom screaming, but when she saw she wasn't going to get away with it, she switched like a light bulb. She hugged me and told me how much she loved me. The rest of our visit she was as nice as pie.
It is Christmas again, and we are scheduled to return to her house. I've asked my husband to go alone, which he thinks is a horrible idea. I am on antidepressants and scheduled for therapy after the first of the year. Am I being selfish?
Melanie
Melanie, the Greek playwright Aristophanes said, "The wise learn many things from their foes." Last Christmas you learned two things from Abigail. You learned she would be embarrassed if you refuse to visit, and you learned she will not confront you in front of her son.
If you can stay home without doing serious damage to your marriage, that is one possible course of action. But there is another answer. Can you distance yourself from the situation? Can you decide in a perfectly calm, cool manner that you will go, but if your mother-in-law is not nice as pie, you will confront her in front of her son?
Abigail has shown you that you can alter her behavior by standing up to her. The power has shifted.
Wayne & Tamara
SEND LETTERS TO: Directanswers@WayneAndTamara.com
Wayne & Tamara are the authors of Cheating in a Nutshell and The Young Woman’s
Guide to Older Men—available from Amazon, Apple, and booksellers everywhere.
Are Retirement Residences a Good Move?
Sunday, November 24, 2024
Canada’s ever challenged parliamentary democracy
Which Candidate Would You Hire? A or B
Which Candidate Would You
Hire? A or B?
By Nick Kossovan
Speaking from personal experience, a bad hire isn't a good look. The last thing you want is to hear, "Who the hell hired Bob?" and have your hiring judgment questioned.
The job seeker who's empathetic to the employer's side of the hiring desk, which controls the hiring process, is rare.
One of the best things you can do to enhance your job search is to practice perspective-taking, which involves seeing things from a different perspective.
It's natural for employers to find candidates who have empathy and an understanding of their challenges and pain points more attractive. Candidates like these are seen as potential allies rather than individuals only looking out for themselves. Since most job seekers approach employers with a 'what's in it for me' mindset, practicing perspective-taking sets you apart.
"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." - Henry Ford.
Perspective-taking makes you realize that from an employer's POV hiring is fraught with risks employers want to avoid; thus, you consider what most job seekers don't: How can I present myself as the least risky hiring option?
Here's an exercise that'll help you visualize the employer's side of the hiring process.
Candidate A or B?
Imagine you're the Director of Customer Service for a regional bank with 85 branches. You're hiring a call centre manager who'll work onsite at the bank's head office, overseeing the bank's 50-seat call centre. In addition to working with the call centre agents, the successful candidate will also interact with other departments, your boss, and members of the C-suite leadership team; in other words, they'll be visible throughout the bank.
The job posting resulted in over 400 applications. The bank's ATS and HR (phone interview vetting, skill assessment testing) selected five candidates, plus an employee referral, for you to interview. You aim to shortlist the six candidates to three, whom you'll interview a second time, and then make a hiring decision. Before scheduling the interviews, which'll take place between all your other ongoing responsibilities, you spend 5 - 10 minutes with each candidate's resume and review their respective digital footprint and LinkedIn activity.
In your opinion, which candidate deserves a second interview?
Candidate A: Their resume provides quantitative numbers—evidence—of the results they've achieved. (Through enhanced agent training, reduced average handle time from 4:32 mins. to 2:43 minutes, which decreased the abandon rate from 4.6% to 2.2%.)
Candidate B: Their resume offers only opinions. ("I'm detail-oriented," "I learn fast.")
Candidate A: Looks you in the eye, has a firm handshake, smiles, and exudes confidence.
Candidate B: Doesn’t look you in the eye, has a weak handshake.
Candidate A: Referred by Ariya, who's been with the bank for over 15 years and has a stellar record, having moved up from teller to credit analyst and is tracking to become a Managing Director.
Candidate B: Applied online. Based on your knowledge, they did nothing else to make their application more visible. (e.g., reached out to you or other bank employees)
Candidate A: Well educated, grew up as a digital native, eager and energetic. Currently manages a 35-seat call center for a mid-size credit union. They mention they called the bank's call centre several times and suggest ways to improve the caller experience.
Candidate B: Has been working in banking for over 25 years, managing the call center at their last bank for 17 years before being laid off eight months ago. They definitely have the experience to run a call centre. However, you have a nagging gut feeling that they're just looking for a place to park themselves until they can afford to retire.
Candidate A: Has a fully completed LinkedIn profile (picture, eye-catching banner) packed with quantifying numbers. It's evident how they were of value to their employers. Recently, they engaged constructively with posts and comments and published a LinkedIn article on managing Generations Y and Z call centre agents. Their Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter/X accounts aren't controversial, sharing between 'Happy Birthday' and 'Congratulations' messages, their love of fine dining, baseball, and gardening.
Candidate B: Their LinkedIn profile is incomplete. The last time they posted on LinkedIn was seven months ago, ranting about how the government's latest interest rate hike will plunge the country into a deep recession. Conspiracy theories abound on their Facebook page.
Candidate A: Notices the golf calendar on your desk, the putter and golf balls in the corner, and a photograph of Phil Mickelson putting on the green jacket at the 2010 Masters hanging on your wall. While nodding towards the picture, they say, "Evidently, you golf. Not being a golfer myself, what made you take up golf, which I understand is a frustrating sport?"
Candidate B: Doesn't proactively engage in small talk. Waits for you to start the interview.
Which of the above candidates presents the least hiring risk? Will likely succeed (read: achieve the results the employer needs)? Will show your boss, upper management, and employees you know how to hire for competence and fit?
_____________________________________________________________________
Nick Kossovan, a well-seasoned veteran of the corporate landscape, offers advice on searching for a job. You can send him your questions at artoffindingwork@gmail.com
Trudeau finally cracked
INDUSTRY vs RESIDENTIAL DEVELOPMENT - HOW CITY HALL DROPPED THE BALL -
Unjust Arrests: How Medical Conditions Are Mistaken for Drug Use, Leaving Vulnerable People at Risk
Unjust Arrests:
How Medical Conditions Are Mistaken for Drug Use, Leaving Vulnerable People at Risk
By Dale Jodoin
Across North America, there is an unsettling trend that’s putting innocent people in harm’s way. Imagine experiencing a medical emergency — maybe it’s a sudden diabetic episode or a panic attack — only to be mistaken for a drug user, handcuffed, and thrown in jail instead of receiving the medical help you need. This is the reality for many individuals with serious medical conditions that, unfortunately, can mimic the signs of drug use. These people, already vulnerable, are now facing stigma, legal troubles, and even life-threatening consequences because of a system that lacks understanding and compassion.
Medical Conditions That Look Like Drug Use
Certain health conditions cause symptoms that can appear similar to intoxication or drug use. Here are some examples:
Diabetes (Hypoglycemia): When blood sugar levels drop too low, a person can become confused, dizzy, and unsteady on their feet, much like someone who is drunk or high. They might slur their speech, sweat profusely, or even pass out. Despite this, people in this state have been mistaken for drug users and denied the immediate care they need.
Epilepsy: People with epilepsy sometimes experience seizures that can make them appear “out of it” or cause sudden behavioral changes. In public settings, they might be seen as “acting strange,” leading law enforcement to jump to conclusions.
Mental Health Conditions (e.g., Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia): Those suffering from severe mental health conditions can exhibit behavior that may be misinterpreted. They may talk quickly, become aggressive, or seem disoriented, and officers who lack training might assume they are on drugs.
Panic and Anxiety Disorders: Panic attacks can cause people to feel overwhelmed, dizzy, short of breath, and fearful. They might tremble or struggle to respond coherently, which some may mistake for drug use.
These examples are just a few of the many medical issues that can be misunderstood, resulting in life-altering consequences for those affected. When individuals in crisis are misjudged, they’re often handcuffed, put in holding cells, or dismissed as “just another drug user.” In reality, they’re people in desperate need of help — help that’s often delayed or denied because of this misinterpretation.
Arrested Instead of Treated
The consequences of these misunderstandings are severe. Instead of getting timely medical care, many individuals end up in custody. The physical and emotional toll of these situations is enormous. Imagine being taken to jail when you’re already in distress and unable to explain yourself. Not only does this deny people medical attention, but it also stigmatizes them, casting them as criminals simply because their medical crisis was misunderstood.
Furthermore, being labeled as a drug user can have lasting effects. It affects relationships, employment, and social standing, leaving people feeling isolated and shamed over something they had no control over.
Why This Keeps Happening
Law enforcement officers often have to make quick decisions in high-stress situations. However, without medical training, it’s easy to mistake the symptoms of a medical condition for the effects of drug use. Police departments are increasingly facing calls to provide more comprehensive training so that officers can better recognize the signs of medical issues.
Despite some progress, many officers still lack the resources or training to accurately distinguish between a medical emergency and drug impairment. As a result, people with legitimate medical needs are being wrongly accused and even put at risk of death when they don’t receive timely help.
Real-Life Stories of Misunderstood Illnesses
In one well-known case, a man suffering from a diabetic episode was driving when his blood sugar dropped. He started to act erratically, and when police arrived, they assumed he was under the influence of drugs. Instead of checking his medical condition, they arrested him. By the time his family could intervene, he was in critical condition due to delayed treatment.
Another case involved a woman experiencing a panic attack in a store. She became visibly distressed, breathing heavily and clutching her chest. The police were called, but instead of offering assistance, they assumed she was on drugs and detained her. This traumatic experience not only left her shaken but also reinforced the stigma that anyone exhibiting unusual behavior must be on drugs.
These stories are not isolated incidents. They happen far too often, highlighting a need for change in how we respond to people in distress.
Saturday, November 16, 2024
A Smooth Move
A Smooth Move
Theresa Grant - Real Estate Columnist
Moving to a new home can be very exciting, but it also ranks among the top five as one of the most stressful situations we deal with. There are a few things we can do to eliminate or decrease the stress level when moving.
One of the earliest things we can do is start planning as soon as you know you are moving. Make a moving checklist that includes all the tasks that will need to be completed, such as hiring movers, notifying utility companies (or anyone else that will need your new address), and then organize your packing. In order not to feel rushed or become overwhelmed, set a timeline for each task.
Moving can be a perfect time to declutter and donate things that you really don’t use anymore but are taking up space.
Hire movers if you can. Professional movers can make your move go much faster and relieve you of the stress of getting all of your belongings from point A to point B. Be sure to hire movers that are experienced and insured in case anything happens to any of your belongings. Movers can make all the difference in the world on moving day. You simply direct traffic, while they do all the heavy lifting.
Be sure to pack your belongings efficiently. This can be the most time-consuming part of moving but if done properly it will save you a lot of grief in the end. There is nothing worse than getting to your new place, having all your boxes everywhere and not knowing where anything is.
In my early days I moved a lot, and with two young children in tow it was not always the smoothest experience. In my opinion, hiring movers is a great investment.
Having a moving binder or digital file where you can keep all of your receipts, contracts, checklists, and utility information can help keep you on track.
Ask for help from family and friends if you can. Trying to do something as monumental as moving on your own can be overwhelming.
Keep in mind your mental and physical health through the process from start to finish. Be sure to take breaks, maybe go for a walk, or meditate.
Prepare for your first night in your new home. In an effort to minimize stress, put together a first night box. The box should include everything that you will need prior to getting fully unpacked. Toiletries, bedding, and snacks are important. It is suggested by professional moving companies that you make your first priority after arriving at the new place, to set up your beds and make them. That way, when you are exhausted and simply cannot do anymore, you can fall into a made bed and get a good night’s sleep before tackling the unpacking in the morning. Unless you plan to make a coffee run in the morning, it may be a good idea to pack a little box with cups, sugar, spoons and coffee, tea or whatever gets you going in the morning.
Questions? Column ideas? You can email me at newspaper@ocentral.com
Mayor Ashe’s Hypocrisy Exposed: Why He Doesn’t Deserve a “Mental Health Hero Award”
Mayor Ashe’s Hypocrisy Exposed:
Why He Doesn’t Deserve a
“Mental Health Hero Award”
By Lisa Robinson
It is deeply disheartening to see Mayor Kevin Ashe receive a Mental Health Hero Award when his actions and words have contributed to the very struggles this award seeks to address.
While the loss of his stepson Alex is a tragedy no family should endure, it is important to hold public figures accountable for their behaviour, especially when they claim to advocate for mental health.
This is a mayor who has repeatedly resorted to divisive rhetoric, labeling Pickering residents and others as “nut cases,” “Nazis,” “homophobes,” and “transphobic,” while dismissing legitimate concerns as “alt-right conspiracy theories.” This kind of language does not break the stigma around mental health; it perpetuates it. His actions — from belittling dissenting voices to encouraging intimidation and bullying — from those who follow him on social media are the exact behaviors that contribute to mental health struggles, including depression and even suicide.
Even his own family members jump in on social media calling those with opposing views to f#%k off or eat- sh#t, while the mayor tells people “go have another drink” pushing vulnerable people and their mental health to the limits.
Let us not forget his letter to the provincial government recently advocating for the use of the notwithstanding clause to displace homeless individuals — a clear disregard for the dignity and well-being of vulnerable residents. Or the fact that he has taken away six months’ worth of income from a fellow colleague, a single mother, leaving her struggling to provide to put food on the table for her family. and keep a roof over their head. These are not the actions of a mental health advocate but those of a mayor whose decisions and words actively harm others.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, while families were told to stay home, avoid travel, and follow strict health protocols — even as loved ones died alone in long-term care facilities — like our very own Orchard Villa - Mayor Ashe traveled on vacation with his family. This blatant hypocrisy, at a time when so many Pickering residents were struggling and making personal sacrifices, is not the behavior of someone deserving of such an honor.
Families were being torn apart by policies that discouraged mixing vaccinated and unvaccinated individuals, yet he violated those same principles he told others to uphold.
Additionally, Mayor Ashe has stifled free expression and public participation in Council by controlling what can be discussed, limiting access to videotaping, and silencing voices critical of his leadership. lobbying the Provincial Government to change the Municipal Act for the ability to remove an elected official- taking away the rights and voices of the people who elected them, and furthermore to forbid them to run in a subsequent election- that is election tampering. His frequent intimidation of council members and residents only reinforces the perception of a deeply toxic and undemocratic environment.
It is deeply concerning that such an award is being presented to someone whose behavior does not align with the values of compassion, understanding, and support that mental health advocacy embodies. The only reason this honor has been bestowed upon him appears to be tied to his connections and financial contributions from events like the Mayor’s Gala / Flag raising- or funding from the Corporation of the City of pickering, a troubling reflection of the very corruption Pickering residents are tired of seeing.
True mental health heroes build others up, create safe spaces for dialogue, and lead with humility and integrity. Shame on you Mr. Mayor Shame on you.
I have always stood as a true advocate for the homeless and for genuine mental health support. True advocacy means addressing the root causes of struggles, not silencing or dismissing those in need. Bullying, intimidation, and hypocrisy have no place in leadership, and true leadership is about integrity, not popularity or alliances.
“Strength Does Not Lie In The Absence Of Fear, But In The Courage To Face It Head-On And Rise Above It”
Job Seekers' Trinity Focus, Anger and Evidence
Presidential election in the United States and Canada’s Future
Presidential election in the
United States and Canada’s Future
by Maj (ret'd) CORNELIU. CHISU, CD, PMSC,
FEC, CET, P. Eng.
Former Member of Parliament
Pickering-Scarborough East
With the presidential and general elections over in the United States, resulting in the re-election of President Donald Trump of the Republican Party, we can expect a new era to begin.
Certainly, these elections will have a deep effect in Canada due to the proximity and strong historical connections between the two countries. Clearly it was not the result that many governments of Europe or even Canada wanted. Now the government of Canada needs to adapt and change accordingly; admittedly a drastic and difficult change to for our political leaders to undertake.
I think that following his first mandate President Trump learned a lot and was capable of regaining the presidency of the United States despite many obstacles and against most of the political experts’ and main media’s predictions. It will be interesting to see how the political leadership of our two countries will react to this new and mostly unexpected situation.
The decisive new element in the political life of the United States is a major shift toward the interests of the American nation, with a drastically reduced concentration on globalist issues. This will affect our bilateral relations on many fronts, especially on the economic and immigration fronts.
President Trump, throughout this latest election campaign, has threatened to impose across-the-board tariffs on imports, to reopen America's trilateral free-trade agreement with Canada and Mexico, and to launch a mass deportation operation, evidently raising fears of a mass influx of American deportees into Canada.
For example, trade experts and industry representatives have raised concerns about the potential consequences on both the American and Canadian economies of President Trump’s promised tariffs of 10 per cent or more on imported goods. The Canadian Chamber of Commerce estimates the resulting economic impact in this country would be a $30 billion loss annually.
On the immigration side, President Trump has said he would begin deportations on Day One. His announcement in 2017 to end residency rights for those from Central America and elsewhere led to a surge across our border. Canada clarified with the Biden administration the Safe Third Country agreement reached with the George W. Bush administration as part of the Smart Border accord after 9-11 that curtailed migrant visa shopping.
In anticipation of a potential surge of refugees and undocumented persons currently living in the United States, Canada needs to go to the Trump transition team with a sound and clear plan.
In the longer term, Canada needs to discuss a joint binational border administration with the US that must include a shared approach to the people and goods entering our perimeter.
Like it or not, borders are thickening with the United States. There continues to be a perception among some American legislators that Canada is ‘soft’ on who Canada lets in.
A border pact will require Canada to share more information. The United States wants Canada to give them a list of convicted child molesters. Why are we hesitating?
When Canada hemmed and hawed on sharing passenger manifests of flights crossing into United States airspace, the United States said ‘Fine, don’t fly in our air space”. In the end,' Canada provided the flight manifests.
If the Canadian government does not act quickly and wisely, Canada risks having the walls and wires, hummers and helicopters along with the visas that apply to the southern border of the United States. So, let’s think big and start discussions on a new binational approach to border management.
Dealing with and managing the relationship with Uncle Sam has been a constant in Canadian foreign policy since before Confederation.
For the first century after the break-up of British North America there was always the threat that the US would fulfill its ‘manifest destiny’ and absorb Canada as it did with Mexico, taking a substantial chunk of their territory.
We avoided that fate through pragmatic diplomacy, by creating institutions and an evolving web of agreements and arrangements that we keep evergreen. At their best they develop norms and rules and include dispute settlement.
Dealing with the United States requires patience and perseverance. Canada must resist the temptation to pontificate and preach. Canada’s government needs to keep a vigilant eye on the administration’s agenda, identifying when we can be helpful and when we need to stand up for Canada.
That means taking the initiative and coming up with imaginative solutions. Importantly, it means following through on Canada’s commitments.
This is how Canada can achieve and level the playing field with the United States.
It is how Canada must manage president Trump’s second term.
The question is, will the government of Canada and the opposition parties be able to work together in the quest to get the best for the country from the new administration that will be taking power at the beginning of 2025?
Clearly, we live in interesting times. 
THANK YOU OGH
tHANK YOU OGH
By Joe Ingino
B.A. Psychology
Editor/Publisher Central Newspapers
ACCOMPLISHED WRITER/AUTHOR OF OVER 800,000
Published Columns in Canada and The United States
As the editor and publisher of this newspaper. I get people send in letters on what a bad experience they had at Oshawa General Hospital.
Yes, I am calling it Oshawa General and not this corporate name of Lakeridge Oshawa... as to me it sounds like utility company.
Years back. I had a personal emergency. A family member suffered major heart failure.
So much so that they had been deemed dead for about a minute. The paramedic even though faced with reality they kept working on him.
I am ever so greatfull.
Until the God’s looked down favorably and gave him the heart beat needed to be transported to OGH for more in depth treatment.
With a very faint heart beat. He was taken in a relatively new technic was deployed.
They froze his body to bring the core temperature down...Then they reversed in hope that there was no brain damage. After many hours of deep soul searching, prayer and he pulled through to full recovery. Today, he lives a healthy and rewarding life.
I thank all those at OGH that did what they did to not only save a life but inspire hope through medicine.
Just recently that 911 call had to be made again. This time a drop in blood pressure almost replayed what had happened 10 years before. The paramedics attending were beyond professional and immediately took action and transported this individual back to OGH.
He was rushed in and he was brought back to normality. I personally witness the professionalism of all the nurses and the doctors.
They worked like a fine tuned mechanism in order to accomplish the best result with the many unknowns before them.
To all the nurses on the C wing 7th floor. Thank you. To all the doctors and specialist thank you.
We live in one of the greatest countries in the world. A country that allows us the freedoms and rights that our forefathers have so passionately preserved, sacrificed and protected.
Almost the day after Remembrance day. I look around me and see the sacrifices of many before us in action.
I see and find a new appreciation for their efforts. Freedom has many faces. Sacrifices are constant evolving almost organic being that is part of what makes this country such a great place to live.
Yes, you bet I am a proud Canadian. Yes, you bet that I would protect our customs, traditions and way of life. To me it is not about your place of birth. It is not about my religion. It not about my former culture, tradition customs. To me it is about preserving, contributing and assuring that generations to come can have the same opportunities I enjoyed. To be free to contribute to my Canada. To our Canada. Thank you OGH for opening my eyes even more. Thank You.
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